Valor Unlimited (3e, OOC: Full)

[RedBstrd]

Damn, seeing so many submissions makes me lose all hope of getting into the game with Justitia
My builds sadly tend to be on the simplistic side( she, for example, is merely a tweaked warrior archetype)....

I don't require or favor complex builds over simple ones so long as the concept is solid. Where I don't want to see simplicity is in the character background. If someone has a one-paragraph introduction to their character, for example, then the submission is probably less developed than I would want.

[RedBstrd]

I'm not able to locate a sample Martian name in the comics. Do they even have individual names?

Let me get back to you on that one. For now, I'd say it isn't a crucial concern for the character background.

[RedBstrd]

On the other hand... no time like the present. Here we go.

@Captain Chaos
I'm a little ambivalent about the exotic dancing thing. Since one of my active characters is essentially Frankenhooker, I'm not prudish about more adult themes. I'm also aware that this is a surprisingly (depressingly?) common for young coeds to do, so it's well within the bounds of reality. I'm just not sure this is the right campaign for this... but, like I said... ambivalent.

I wouldn't feel reluctant to have an exotic dancer as the background for a heroine since Voodoo of Wild C.A.T.S. was an exotic dancer and that series was one that Alan Moore took over to try doing some neo-Silver stuff. As such, it's an established concept for the genre.

That said, I haven't had a chance to look over the character yet.

[RedBstrd]

I need to get back to work grading. I'll continue looking over builds and commenting on them during my next break tonight.

[CaptainChaos]

I can change the background some to make it fit better if needed. Just let me know.

[Neo-Paladin]

Damn, seeing so many submissions makes me lose all hope of getting into the game with Justitia
My builds sadly tend to be on the simplistic side( she, for example, is merely a tweaked warrior archetype)....

I don't require or favor complex builds over simple ones so long as the concept is solid. Where I don't want to see simplicity is in the character background. If someone has a one-paragraph introduction to their character, for example, then the submission is probably less developed than I would want.

Nah, no danger there

[Project Icarus]

@Project Icarus
I like Flare's build and background. The one suggestion I had, was... gender switch. I think your characters build and skill set fit very well with a female protagonist -should you not be adverse to playing cross-gender.
...besides, the lineup is lacking in cheesecake.

Ehhh... thanks for the suggestion, but in general, I'm pretty terrible playing cross-gender. I like to think that I'm smart enough to know my weaknesses (though just barely! ), so I'll have to pass on the idea.

[CaptainChaos]

I've been giving Lord Fell's comments some thought. I think I will tweak the background a bit to make it fit the setting better. I think a few minor tweaks should be okay. How does changing it from my character being an exotic dancer to working as a waitress in a high class strip club? I know there are clubs like that in some cities that serve food along with the alcohol and entertainment. Just a thought.

[Walking Dad]

Martian Lad
(will become Martian Man 2 later)

For the build, I'd like to see a few components which reflect how Martians operate in Invincible:
• He should have the complication Limited Emotions
• He should have Comprehend 3 (Read/Write, Speak, Understand - All Languages) [6 pp]
• He should be immune to the Mind Control power [2 pp]

...

• I will add the complication.
• I will add comprehend.
• Are they really immune to Mind Contol? I thought the Sequids had just a "no shapeshifter" limit to their mind control. Is there any other example of a mind control resistance?
From comicvine:

The Sequids were unable to bond with the Martians due to their shape-shifting capabilities, and were therefore turned into harmless labor force by the Martians.

Also please give me some time to add to the background, I'm currently visiting my parents with my kids, which reduces my available time

[RedBstrd]

Jackson Wright - Telekinetic Paragon
PL 9/135pts. (3e)

Abilities 36pts.
Strength 10/1 Agility 3 Fighting 4 Awareness 4
Stamina 2 Dexterity 1 Intellect 0 Presence 4

Skills 18pts., 36 ranks
Close Combat 4(+8), Deception 6(+10), Insight 6(+10), Perception 9(+13), Persuasion 6(+10), Ranged Combat (Telekinesis (Array)) 8(+9)

Mechanically, I notice a couple of issues:
• His abilities should cost 38 pp (he has 19 ranks distributed above).
• His skills should cost 20 pp (he has 39 ranks distributed above).
• As a result, he is 4 pp over the limit.

Conceptually, I'll echo Lord Fell's comment that he needs an explanation for the quickness. I think one as simple as "His mind is quick as a result of his mental powers, while he can move things with his telekinesis to accomplish basic tasks much more quickly than his peers" would work.

For the background, Fell is likewise correct that if Jackson's powers are completely undetectable (Subtle 2), then his fight with Elephant would not show him as the person who stopped the villain - barring extreme circumstances that gave conclusive evidence based on context alone. Perhaps you may want to indicate in the character's background that he learned how to control his powers and manifest them more subtly after joining Valor Unlimited.

Also, I approve of having Elephant as a villain in your back story. He's actually the "muscle" that I had punch Jack Flash through the wall in my mood-setting blurb for the recruitment (though I didn't indicate that in the post).

[RedBstrd]

• Are they really immune to Mind Contol? I thought the Sequids had just a "no shapeshifter" limit to their mind control. Is there any other example of a mind control resistance?

Also please give me some time to add to the background, I'm currently visiting my parents with my kids, which reduces my available time

I guess we could go either way on that one. If you'd prefer not to sink the points into Immunity to Mind Control, then I'll just make sequids unable to use their powers on shapeshifters as a limitation to their build. I've looked into the Official Handbook of the Invincible Universe #2, which details Martians and it doesn't say anything conclusive on this point. It did remind me, though, that Martians should have a rank of Mental Communication. I would suggest doing the following:

• Reducing your Dex score by 2. With the 6 points you had invested in treating the Shapeshifting power settings like AEs, you will now have 10 pp unspent.
• Purchase Comprehend (Read/Write, Speak, Understand - All Languages) for 6 pp. Get Mental Communication 1 (100 ft) for 4 pp.

When the character gets some pps after scenes or when he increases in Power Level, you may want to get either Second Chance (Emotion Effects) or Immune to Emotion Effects.

Take your time with the revisions. You have a little over a week.

[Neo-Paladin]

Soo...when will we know whether we're in or not?

[RedBstrd]

Soo...when will we know whether we're in or not?

When recruitment closes (3/31). I made sure to give a long recruitment because I knew that I was going to have to grade finals the first few days and I also wanted to give people plenty of time to produce characters with appropriate neo-Silver backgrounds.

[CaptainChaos]

I updated the character background somewhat. Let me know if it fits the setting better.

Thanks.

[RedBstrd]

Blizz

Complications
Fame: Tyler "Blizz" Freeman is an X-Game phenomenon and has numerous sports endorsements.
Motivation: Thrills: Flip is an adrenaline junkie, pure & simple.
Power Loss: Cold Powers are Impaired, Disabled then lost completely in extremely hot or arid conditions.
Relationship: Blizz was raised by his older brother Mason. He is also close to his agent Maury and his girlfriend Melonie.
Weakness: Resistance is Disabled vs Heat-based attacks.

The build checks out (you used Hero Lab, I see) and is a pretty good take on a classic cold controller. Your complications indicate that you are thinking about the right sorts of things for your character background. What I want to see now is a full character background.