The Black Arbitrators
: You may recall hearing once of nine Arbitrators who, upon being told that for the time being The Forever War was over and done with, found their sanity shattering upon their complete inability to grasp this fact as anything but a hideous lie (or the most hideous truth imaginable to these post human killing-machines) then proceeded to make a spirited attempt to kill EVERYTHING.
Allfathers be praised, those poor broken souls are not an issue at this point in time; The Black Arbitrators, on the other hand, are very much a problem at this point in time - a company only slightly less than forty strong and determined to make the Destiny of Humankind to rule across the galaxy as manifest in this corner of creation as it was in the continuum of their own E-000. Each of them is, if not the equal or THE Arbitrator (alias Serjeant Phil) then at least his near-equal; each of them has been rebuilt from the bones out, trained to a hair and hardened to an almost-adamantine degree so that they might become warriors that knew no fear and spread fear across the face of the bloodiest and most terrible war-torn universe imaginable.
Assess each of them separately and you will bear witness to an individual who can kill an entire city; assess them as a unit and you might well be looking at a unit capable of making the Galaxy BURN in time. They are certainly more than up to the task of conquering any Earth upon which they might happen to find themselves, given time and an absence of native superhuman protectors capable of opposing them.
Having found the presence of super-humans on E-0 too numerous for them to purge, they have elected to travel elsewhere and look for a planet that does not boast such a defence - with terrible consequences, since while these individuals can Conquer a World with ease, they are almost incapable of rebuilding them and will SHATTER a world in the process of seizing it ... which is precisely why The Outrageous Order does it's best to drive them off at every turn (and does it's best to point them at some looming threat to their mutual survival in the hope that The Black Arbitrators will finally get the POINT and stop trying to conquer E-0).
: Upon being confronted by a group devious and powerful enough to seize his technology and employ it to restore those solar bodies he had appropriated over the course of his colourful career to their previous owners, The Dread Pirate Dreadstar decided after some reflection to FINALLY pay his due to the Admirals of Avarice, thereby signing up to the Right Civil Union of Interstellar Buccaneers, Corsairs, Illegal Whalers, Pirates and associated scum.
What this means for the not-at-all Good Captain is that he may now account himself a member of the most high-flying piratical scum in the cosmos and able to summon their assistance should he run into a threat big enough to cut into their profit margins - what this means for The OUTRAGEOUS Order is that their chances of peacefully travelling almost anywhere ever again are just about approaching Absolute Zero.
Captain Carpenter will be EXACTLY as happy as you would expect when he gets wind of this, his chief engineer much less so, because while there ARE pirates stupid enough to try plundering Daedalus far more of them are going to Shoot on Sight and they have VERY Big Guns.
: A swarm of nanomachine-mutated THINGS that pretty much ate a significant portion of the universe in which E-000 was situated but don't seem to have reached their limit as yet - having munched their way through several other corners of creation, spreading desolation or body-horror in their wake (depending on whether their meal was finished or their feeding was disrupted), despite having been theoretically destroyed along with the rest of that unfortunate universe.
Unfortunately, it seems that those hive fleets had enough far-flung relatives to fill a Han family album; fortunately they're not invincible, just impossible to entirely eliminate, equally impossible to stop without massive collateral damage and almost as hard to stop without hideous casualties - thankfully the Outrageous Order can prevent the latter and deal with the middle one afterwards (assuming they're given the chance) - in fact The Arbitrator seems to derive the utmost degree of professional satisfaction from doing just that.
It's not just the fact that these things are HORRIBLE and eternally starving, it's the fact that from a safe distance and to a certain sort of mind they're absolutely HILARIOUS that offends his sensibilities; no Arbitrator worth his carapace ever found brutality, death and suffering amusing
: Unlike a solid majority of the other entities on this list (who are mostly interested in bracing themselves for the storm that may descend upon them at any time, as well as doing their quiet best to dissipate it's power), The Sanctity happens to boast many members crazy enough to hunt down The OUTRAGEOUS Order for that group's various trespasses upon their impassioned bid to spread The GOOD NEWS ... of Omnicide and all the rest of the Titans across Creation.
Mostly, it must be said, because they resent Captain Carpenter's enlightened agnosticism, have been exposed to The Arbitrator's burning righteousness when confronted by such heresy, as well insulted beyond belief by the adamantine atheism of Justicar-0 and The Revolutionary but most of all they HATE the so-called Squirrel God because he just drives them NUTS.
They're also erroneously convinced that the faction filching all their greatest treasures MUST be The OUTRAGEOUS Order, because who else other than Big Ajax would be DUMB enough to track down such sanity-blasting treasures without electing to keep using them?
: As a collection of practiced, professional killers seeking to eliminate the tyrannical law-makers of the Universe, The Hashishan might on a good day be expected to pass muster as anti-villains (and quite possibly embraced as 'just like home' by Arbitrator, as well as Mrs and Mr Cosmic but that's another story), at least half the time.
The problem is that these professional killers and their excruciating toys are being maintained by the largest and most esoteric drug network in creation, that many of their 'distractions' are fuelled by these drugs and that the less noble of their members are therefore assigned to make sure that 'The Spice' keeps flowing so that Tyrants can keep dying across The Nexus.
Justicar-0, constitutionally incapable of acknowledging moral ambiguity and for once able to bring in the rest of the OUTRAGEOUS Order with him because drug-smugglers and drug-dealers really are kind of loathsome has taken steps to break up this trans-dimensional criminal cartel, somehow managing to make process without finding himself dead enough to end several dozen lifetimes.
At this point both halves of the slightly-schizophreniac Hashishan organisation have started to pay attention to The OUTRAGEOUS Order and begun to ponder how they can eliminate the threat they present to their organisation - unsurprisingly a great deal of pointy death and poison is likely to be involved.
: At some point in Justicar-0s personal history, the heads of his Department took it upon themselves to charge those of their colleagues with the greatest degree of scientific and occult knowledge with the task of unravelling the greatest mysteries of Life and Death so that the greatest Justices of the Age might live on for all time. The project was presented with a variety of solid, but dispensable test-subjects drawn from the ranks of The Justicars, the most promising of whom were submitted to a range of efforts to make them immortal.
In the case of Justicars Manslaughter
, Grand Theft
they were unfortunately successful; each failed to enjoy their own version of Immortality and they have all been making life that much shorter and more beset by peril ever since, most often separately or 'buddied up' in the classic fashion played for the blackest of comedy - Justicar-0 has been trying to permanently imprison or incapacitate them ever since and with only mixed success or worse yet Phyrric victory to reward his efforts.
Still, with the Outrageous Order to back him up, he may actually stand a chance of stopping them - if he can ever master his shaky grasp of people skills long enough to get them pointed in the right direction.
: One of the most personal threats to Big Ajax is, unsurprisingly, rather low on the hellish totem pole of threats to the OUTRAGEOUS Order despite their blatant contempt for these 'surprisingly-scientific savages' which is one of the major reasons that the Purist's major centres of power in Londinium have not been reduced to slightly-glowing rubble starkly lit by the flames of a major purge.
The other reason is that this eminently-understandable response to the sheer unthinking provocation a Purist seems capable of offering simply by holding their breath in the presence of someone who fails to meet their unbelievable
excuse for Standards would probably result in a Nexus-wide war because The Star Kingdom simply CANNOT accept that sort of rough justice (not on such a scale in public) without retaliation and since The OUTRAGEOUS Order are a moving target they'll probably target the Grand Republic, with all the consequences of a firebrand meeting a tub of black powder.
At this point in his NUMEROUS discussions with Big Ajax and The Revolutionary, Captain Carpenter can generally carry his point, despite his internal impulse to stick it somewhere on the person of Milton Saxon where the sun will never EVER shine again:- thankfully Super Dragon Punch 0 has become VERY good at coming up with imaginative responses to the sort of knavery offered to Big Ajax courtesy of Milton and which fails to find acceptance from ANY member of the O!!O ... which is a good thing because the captain was running out of tricks and patience.
The Sovius Empire
: Captain Carpenter HATES Space-Nazis, but can be relied upon to do his best to keep his worst impulses at bay in the interests of getting away with his latest effort to subvert their intolerable regimen - everyone else is pretty happy to go along because ... you know COMMIE-FASCISTS IN SPACE AND TIME, even though The Arbitrator feels a vague sensation of guilt when he does so (mostly because The Arbitrator is always feeling some vague sensation of guilt; that's what happens when you're raised Space Inquisition-Nazi) and Justicar-0 can always be relief upon to make some cutting remarks about not being a political officer.
The Sovius HATE these guys for ... well, a wide range of reasons, most of them stemming from damage to their Imperium, their Plans and their Pride, but would really love to offer their resident Post-human Killing Machine a job (which he PROBABLY would not accept - the problem is that The Black Arbitrators WOULD).
The One Above All
: ONE and his drones really hate this crew because they're a devastating counter-assault against his entire system in the form of a single super-ship and it's super-crew ... but ONE is prepared to endure and survive them, because like a summer storm they come and go as they will, but when they're obliged to flee by his legions they leave behind a mess that makes ONE look like a reasonably-attractive alternative to anarchy.
At least he COULD endure them if it were not for his greatest and most persistent living enemy (TWO doesn't count by virtue of being questionably-alive) VIDEO GAME GIRL!
The O!!O HATE ONE because ... well he's an EVIL VIDEO GAME OVERLORD and that sort of makes him the kind of being they were formed to fight (Also Justicar-0 wants to prosecute him on charges of Cyber-Crime so numerous that an unworthy few suspect him of making them up as he goes along); also they miss Video Game Girl a lot and would like to work with her more often.
The Zero Minus One
: Genocidal killing machines without any surviving trace of Humanity, possessed of all the alternate genius and stupidity of the thinking machine ... you really don't have to look far for reasons to fight 0-1/0 whenever they appear. When their would-be masters 0-X show up, a crew of cyborgs long since condemned to be more machine than man, extremely angry about that degeneration and prone to venerate Daemonites as a consequence of their fury with this unwanted condition (they wanted to be CYBORGS, not ZOMBIE-cyborgs), you really do have to search hard for a GOOD reason to make no attempt to stop them turning 0-1/0 into sadistic
When The Arbitrator AND Captain Carpenter are champing at the bit to put their differences aside and nix this particular threat, you'd better come up with an EXCELLENT reason (none of the O!!O are nihilistic or selfish enough to even try, because even the worst of them aren't THAT bad).
. . . and Crazy Steve: Look, The Adventurer's Guild doesn't need this kind of competition and Crazy Steve isn't actually a villain, but he is VERY sensible of the sort of havoc these guys can wreak, which is precisely why he's doing his level best to keep them from becoming the first resort of those desperate souls in search of Heroes for Hire who are more mercenary than The Doorknockers and have the sort of morality you don't see very often in the sort of rugged individualist willing to earn a living as a mercenary across the Nexus.
Yes, admittedly he may have resorted to desperate measures like persuading Captain Steve - yes, they're related BY ADOPTION, wait to hear before you sneer! - to keep an eye on this gang and act officious enough to keep them distracted from any serious kind of marketing campaign and SURE that roguish crew of adventuring accountants might have gone away from him with the weird impression they now owned the mortgage on Daedalus, MABYE he should have sent any - someone other than Sane Steve to act as the group's ... well, Steve but he has NEVER tried to slay or otherwise betray his old friends, his new friends and the rest of that maniac crew they hang out with nor will he EVER.
He will, however, sabotage even the most half-hearted attempt on their part to become Big Business in the field of Heroes for Hire, because when you've adopted, assimilated and otherwise assembled a family as numerous as that of Crazy Steve you have to keep them in business somehow (otherwise you have to PAY to keep them).
Mrs and Mr Cosmic are almost entirely aware of this and ALMOST entirely forgive Crazy Steve (except when they can emotionally-blackmail their Dear Little Friend for some favour, business being business).
Founder of H.E.R.O.I.C, Complimenter-in-Chief, Co-Arch Henchman to the Grin, Servant of the Hoff!
Rule Brittania! Praise the Hoff and the Grin!
Warning!: May cause Thread Drift.