Halt Evil Doer! thread IV - (Zombies!)

[Daibhid C]

Thinking about TV shows in the HED! universe, here's my ideas for what's on in the UK (besides imports of all the previously mentioned shows, especially on Sparta Satellite Broadcasting):

Britain's Got Superpowers! Yes, really. A superpowered talent show, attracting ... well, the sort of people who'd enter a superpowered talent show where the prize is a contract with Simon Cowell. Frequently "car crash television" as people with lame powers get booked so Cowell can mock them.

The Supehero Challenge: BBC's answer to the above. No contract for the winner, just the pride of knowing they'd make a good superhero. Tries to be more "worthy" than BGS, but sometimes forgets this when the ratings war heats up. The judges are actual superheroes, who also act as mentors. Not usually A-list. but not unknowns either. The first season made headlines when The Londoner quit as a judge for undisclosed reasons.

The Adventures of John Bull: A series on Children's BBC based on the WWII career of John Bull, with each episode vetted for accuracy by a team of historians and John Bull II. Except possibly the Children in Need charity telethon episode where he met the Doctor.

The Mick Tsavong Show: Mick Tsavong is a former member of the Tsavong Stones (a poorly thought-out plan to infiltrate British popular culture) who now uses his shapeshifting powers to impersonate celebrities and politicians in this occasionally controversial satire show.

No Heroics: Bizarrely, this ITV sitcom about Z-list superheroes is exactly the same as its real world counterpart. Despite some suspicions, the makers aren't connected to the House of Serpents, PHANTOM, or any other group; the portrayal of superheroes as either lovable losers or arrogant jerks has no ideological basis beyond simple cynicism.

Also of note is that the BBC's 2006-2009 Robin Hood series was never made following complaints by the Loxley family.

[greycrusader]

Having a passing familiarity with British television from PBS and (more recently) BBC America, I imagine the whole "superheroing" business is just not taken quite as seriously as it can be in the States. UK TV's answer to The Angelica De Lynn Show is The Joanna Frost-Light Hour, in which beloved but faux-grumpy deadpan snarker comedienne Joanna Frost-Light invites heroes and other celebs related to metaman pop culture onto the show to conduct sarcastic interviews, have them participate in silly skits, and generally steal the spotlight from super-powered guests. Ms. Frost-Light is of course rather rumpled and middle-aged looking, in UK talk host tradition, though her bouffant hair is always carefully maintained.

Of course, one of the more popular newer shows is Being Normal, where three metamen (two guys, one gal) with inconvenient and sometimes out of control superpowers end up living together, trying to conceal their abilities and just create normal civilian lives. There's an American version but the British original is superior.

Note: Joanna Frost-Light isn't really based on anyone in particular, she's just an amalgam of the male Graham Norton, along with Ruby Wax, (very) funny woman Dawn French, and an older UK female comic whom I spotted on the Graham Norton show but whose name I cannot recall right now. I beg forgiveness for any and all stereotypes invoked. Being Normal is quite obviously a pastiche of Being Human.

[Charles Phipps]

A phenomenon I've alluded to in my books but which hasn't really been expanded on much is that being a superhero is something that is an automatic ticket to fame and fortune. It's just that it's also something of the road to ruin in Heroic Earth as well. There have been literally hundreds of "false start" heroes who take "patrons" or accept gifts from Corporate America (or Corporate Britain, etc).

These heroes usually get the training, equipment, and possibly even powers as part of their efforts to create the next sort of hero. While there's nothing so effective as the Gene Nation's Evolution Tanks there's plenty of volunteer clinical drug trials and experimental surgeries that these corporations do work for. While it's easy to assume SpartaCorp, AmeriCorp, Project: Icarus, and so on are responsible for these - in truth, just as many legitimate corporations are behind these.

If they can create the next Divinos then these corporations (or more likely the corporations that own the corporations that own them) can write their own ticket forever. In a way, many of these superheroes become testing grounds or living advertisements for the effectiveness of the products they're trying to sell be they body armor or mountain-climbing gear.

One of the greatest victories Kenneth Kane ever won against superheroes was when one of his saner employees convinced Divinos that he could use the money from licensed anime, action figures, and t-shirts to assist children. So, there's actually a vast profit to be made from successful superhero IP. After all, if Divinos is willing to do it then there's nothing wrong with it.

The temptation from this can be rather insidious as you don't necessarily have to take all the money. Heroes who donate 10% of their earnings can help a lot of people. Even one who donates 90% of his earnings can live comfortably if he's successful as a hero and enjoy all the benefits of being a major celebrity. There's practical reasons for this merchandising as well, as a lot of superheroes don't have the option of being comfortably wealthy before they start fighting crime and can't figure of a Peter Parker solution.

It's called the road of "False Starts" because this is usually the path of ruin for these individuals. They may have commitment, drive, and inherent decency but as it's been hinted at but rarely mentioned - superheroes rarely last very long and the majority of the ones we've mentioned are the ones who are good at this. Plenty of corporations pull their funding, try to control their agents, or simply move onto other projects and they're left without someone to pay for their supersuit's repair.

Also, the public (despite the power of advertising) is prone to looking at these heroes at somehow "less" than Athena or Black Wing II. They can afford to donate all of their profits to charity, the other heroes argue, but it rings a bit hollow. Cops, after all, deal with lousy pay and no fame for fighting crime. Usually, the ex-soliders and police offers deal with it pretty well, while the average citizens deal with it....poorly.

Make sense?

[Libra]

Indeed.

[Phrozen]

So, the Dos Equis guy is really the Most Interesting Man in the world in HED! ?

[greycrusader]

My write-ups of the Knaves, who served as Professor Purgatory's underlings during the Heroic Earth episode deemed "The Promise of Purgatory" by the Hierophant's official scrivener, Lacklund Workworks (the Hierophant scarcely writes his own journal entries, after all). The first three up: Red Vulture, Typhoid, and Wretched Dragon!

Red Vulture: Though an inveterate coward and liar, Red Vulture is a cunning thief, looter, and criminal strategist; he initially worked as a villain-for-hire in his native India for the crime lord Brahmin, but eventually the Red Vulture's skimming of the loot reached levels which Brahim could not ignore or forgive, despite Red Vulture's usefulness. In Eastern Europe and Asia, he teamed with the Retriever, an armored villain who specialized in bank jobs, stealing prototype technologies, and ransacking the bases of other supervillains, making him a good match for the Red Vulture-even the Retriever grew tired of his partner's greed. In the States, Red Vulture headed up a low-grade team of avian-themed criminals known as 'The Roost", battling Steel Commando and Lady Grayhaven and her Pride. When the Roost turned against him, Red Vulture was desperate enough to sign on with Professor Purgatory. His cloak grants him error-free teleportation (even into places he has never visited before), but no one is sure if the Red Vulture's power to drain and weaken the vigor of others is likewise device-driven or an intrinsic ability.

Typhoid: Back in 1972, Mary was a petty criminal, prostitute, drifter, go-go dancer, and hippie; her world changed when she and the group of dopers Mary was hanging with at the time ecountered an eighteenth century vampire late one night, while smoking pot, making out, and dancing around a bonfire. Mary was the only survivor-though no one was left alive. She became an unusual vampire, one whose bite not only resulted in blood loss but also infected her victims with a supernatural disease that mimicked the effects of typhoid fever. She was resistant to sunlight and could remain awake during the day, but while her regenerative powers were phenomenal, Mary lacked most of the immunities of a traditional vampire. Remaining very much a "bad girl" and thrill-seeker, she became involved in a number of sordid adventures, ranging from the banal (alternately seducing and threatening a hippie couple in an old mansion) to the deadly (a high-speed cross-country car chase involving a psychopathic driver and his career-criminal partner). Mary's escapades came to an end when she encountered Sacred Spear, who left "Typhoid" Mary entombed under a two-ton slab of concrete, where she remained trapped until inadvertantly freed by a construction crew a few years back. Rendered utterly mad, Typhoid Mary has proclaimed repentence for her past deeds, and now preys only on "the guilty"...as her demented mind judges so many to be.

Wretched Dragon: Unnatural and tormented, Wretched Dragon would have been a pitiable figure had he not been so lethal. The result of a misbegotten attempt by Black Dragon to cure his cancer through mysticism, Wretched Dragon was a tumour in human form, with all of the Tricker Ninja's memories, skills, and ruthlessness but none of the Black Dragon's light-heartedness or (meager) scruples. Wretched Dragon killed and maimed casually and without regret. He loathed his own existence, as the sickness Black Dragon felt was magnified ten times over in his malformed twin, but Wretched Dragon regenerated from even a single cell, so all his attempts at ending his own life fell short-though he experienced all the pain of each failed sucide just as any normal man. He took on one mission after another going after superhumans Wretched Dragon hoped could end his torture, and signed on with Prof. Purgatory when promised oblivion in return.

The other Knaves-Elohim II, Dr. Gateway, and Generator Jack-will follow in due course.

All my best.

[greycrusader]

My next post will likely finish off my versions of the Knaves, though I'd love to see Charles post the cannon HED versions who actually played through the adventure in his campaign. I'll probably also touch on the Celestial Maiden and Antithesis.

Then after a short break to make progress on another project (non-M&M, I'm afraid), I still plan on posting on Robert Jack's and Big Answer's tabloid style adventures. But I admit I'm finding my inspiration on that one a little lacking so far.

Anyone out there feel like throwing out an idea or two for me to riff on about the pair's exploits? It would be appreciated.

All my best.

[Charles Phipps]

Bravo.

I really like them all and I'm going to discuss them all.

[Daibhid C]

I can easily visualise The Joanna Frost-Light Hour. Started on Channel 4, then when it got popular she got a contract with the BBC, and it was on BBC2 for a couple of years in the Have I Got News For You slot until it built up enough of a fanbase to be moved to BBC1 on Graham Norton's off-season. Generally well recieved, but accused of deliberately courting controversy with the attempted Jack Union interview. (Not by anyone who actually watched that episode, though.)

[greycrusader]

Man, that is great!

May I ask if you are a citizen of the UK like our cherished co-tributer Libra, or even more an Anglo-televison fan that I am?

I did manage to discover the name of the comedienne I caught on the Graham Norton program-Jo Frost. Quite a funny and somewhat bawdy lady.

All my best.

[greycrusader]

The remaining Knaves:first up, Elohim II:

Elohim II: A mortal woman imbued with the spirit and fighting skills of a Mesopotamian goddess of justice, the second heroine to be known as Elohim served Professor Purgatory only because the madman held the key to the salvatation of Gilgamesh. Ages ago, the Sumerian goddess Manungal fell in battle against the Angels who served the Hidden Light, as did so many other pagan deities. While Manungal was a goddess of judgement and final justice, she was also a dweller in the Underworld (a Infernal-ish pocket dimension of the Babylonian/Sumerian pantheon); she found herself in a true Hell. Over centuries, Manungal's memories and purpose were driven from her, ending up as a mere demon-price consort and scourger of souls. Ironically, her lord and master was Pazzuzu, a demonic foe from her ancient glory days. Eventually, her memories were restored through the heroism of the Ur-Hero Gilgamesh, during one of his many stays in the Lands of the Dead. After unleashing her wrath on Pazzuzu, she made her escape from Hell-but not before promising Gilgamesh she would free him from his endless cycle of birth-painful death-rebirth.

Her spirit found refuge in the comatose body of a female descendant of Lugalbanda, the legendary second King of Uruk, a police detective who had been brutally assaulted by mob enforcers. The newly made demigoddess had the soul of a wronged mortal woman backed by the power and knowledge of a vengeful goddess. Elohim II wreaked havoc on the denizens of the human underworld with fists, feet, blades, and guns a-blazing. But the vow made by her divine half was not forgotten; Elohim II spent much time searching for the means to free Gilgamesh. She was bound by her oath to follow Professor Purgatory when he presenter her with the means to do so. However, eventually his actions became too much to bear, and Elohim II turned against him. Though this almost cost her life, she eventually found another method to fulfill her vow: this resulted in the final death of Gilgamesh, though his soul and powers migrated to his descendant (and failed suicide) Gilead.

[greycrusader]

Dr. Gateway: A Project Icarus pharmaceutical researcher tasked with creating super-soldiers through bio-chemistry, Dr. Desmond Morton became addicted to his own drug-dispensing cybernetic harness. He began stealing supplies from the Project to feed his own addiction, which led to the underdosing of test subjects. After several were maimed in what should have been a routine training session. Already under suspicion, Dr.Morton fled, taking the prototype harness with him. On the run from Project: Icarus and desperate for funds to support his habit, Dr. Morton turned to crime, beginning with petty theft and working up to grand larceny. He also began formulating and selling exotic drugs to whomever was willing to supply the necessary cash or technology, he picked up the nickname "Dr. Gateway". Eventually his metabolism was permanently altered by the overuse of the harness; Dr.Morton's own body now synthesized drug compounds, which were secreted through his skin and breath. Dr. Gateway found he had to rid his system of these chemicals by injecting others, otherwise they would build up and become toxic. His appearance and mental state deteriorated, and Dr. Gateway became a pariah even among the low-rent criminal element. Dr. Gateway sought refuge from Project: Icarus and a possible cure from Professor Purgatory in return for his service.

Generator Jack: A Melungeon hailing from the Appalachian mountains, near the Pennsylvania-West Virigina border, Jack was heir to a very special legacy. He was kin to a legendary figure of the Appalachias, Minstrel Johnny, a wandering balladeer and magician who kept the Buried Beasts of the Hills at bay, quelling ancient spirits that held the land in times before even the first Native American tribes lived in the region. As the oldest male heir of the bloodline, Jack was taught the necessary skills as he grew into manhood-hunting, tracking, hedge wizardry, herbal healing, spirit-knowledge, and hand-to-hand fighting. But Jack had no desire to walk the hills and hollers all his life, in service to others. Jack wanted the wider world, and made his way out at the first opportunity-but not without taking along a gift of his heritage, a seemingly ordinary bag which would allow Jack to make his fortune in the outside world. Jack could reach inside the bag and retrieve whatever "tools" were needed for a task, so long as Jack could give name to them-anything from a crowbar to a machine gun to a mystic talisman. Only one of Jack's heritage could "speak" to the bag and make it "generate" the things that were needing.

Jack intended to sell his knowledge and skills as "troubleshooter", putting down dark-fey, howlers, wendigo and the like, lifting curses, and dispelling bellicose spirits-all for a price. But he often found work and money scarce-until he began "generating" his own business by stirring up malignant forces and then charging a fee to "protect" others from the creatures Jack had unleashed. Not truly evil by nature, Jack never let the mayhem get too far out of hand, but nonetheless, he soon had enemies on both sides of the supernaturnal world, both the angels and the devils. And back in the Hills, the Buried Beasts were beginning to stir...Jack agreed to work for Professor Purgatory for the promise of enough magical power to solve all the problems plaguing his life.

[Phrozen]

Santa Rosa

Originally, settled by Dutch pirates in the early 17th century the small island that would come to be known as Santa Rosa lies off the coast of Venezuela. The pirates found it an easy location to raid Spanish ships coming out of Caracas or head north and plunder the treasure fleet coming from Mexico. To stop the pirates, the Spanish invaded and renamed the island Santa Rosa. The island stayed under Spanish control after the Bolivarian Revolution. When the Americans won the Spanish American, they took control of Santa Rosa but promptly set it free. There was no strategic or logistical reason to keep the about 400 square mile island which had no natural resources and only about 25,000 people. The island went through a number of strong men.

Santa Rosa came back to the headlines in the 1950s when a Soviet backed coup replaced the nominally pro-US dictator Oscar Caballero. The island nation grew close to Cuba and the Soviets till the fall of the Soviet Union. In the early 90s the Drug cartels from Colombia came in. The Araña Cartel literally hired a mercenary army and took over the country. The country was put under the leadership of Angelo "Nero" Pescador, who was a general in the Araña Cartel. After the Foundation took apart the Araña Cartel with the assistance of the Colombian government, Angelo Pescador found himself as the head of a country. For a few years everything was calm and many different countries where vying for Santa Rosa's favor. Oil was discovered off the islands shores and everybody wanted a piece.

Then Angelo Pescador started living up to his namesake. No one knows what drove then man insane but he was increasingly unstable. He arrested the staff of a Ruritanian Consulate and forced them to fight captured Foundation Agents gladiator style in a soccer stadium in front of a crowd that was required to be present. He fed prisoners to his pet anacondas, piranhas, and crocodiles. He declared martial law and banned any religion except for Roman Neo Paganism. He appeared in public in a purple toga and platinum laurel leaf crown. He frequently made contracts then turned around and broke them on a whim. The last straw is when he proclaimed the whole country traitorous and threatened to burn the many oil wells off the coast.

Juan Cantor, a extremely rich media mogul of Santa Rosan origin hired The Renegades to execute Pescador in a coup assisted by the Santa Rosan military. The Renegades easily accomplished the task but were arrested by Cantor and the military. The Renegades promptly broke out. In a two month campaign they managed to not only kill Cantor but kill everybody in the Santa Rosan military above Colonel as well as demolish the presidential palace, two oil rigs, and four cargo ships. They also collected several bounties of Red Spider, PHANTOM, HoV, and ICL persons. It is amazing who shows up when there is a power vacuum.

The Renegades pretty much left the country in ruins. The Foundation moved in and helped stabilize the country. The island had its first elections at the beginning of the year. The winner was Abraham Amarillo. Which was the real name of a little known supervillain named Whip Scorpion. Abraham promptly kicked the Foundation out of Santa Rosa.

Under Whip Scorpion, Santa Rosa has turned into a hive of scum and villainy though many would argue it never stopped being one. Amarillo has three laws: Do not kill, do not steal, do not rape, and do not kidnap. Everything else is legal. The four crimes are punishable by death, indentured servitude, or a fine. Many villains and other shady characters have flocked to Santa Rosa, though the government of Santa Rosa will not fight any extradition. Many legitimate businesses have moved to Santa Rosa as a tax shelter and to do things that they couldn't normally do in any other country. Amazingly, Whip Scorpion enjoys a good deal of popularity since his government is very hands off compared to the last couple leaders.

[greycrusader]

The two demigod-like supervillains spawned during the events of The Promise of Purgatory, as per Mr. Phipps:

The Antithesis: A twisted mirror of Professor Purgatory's self-righteous piety, the Antithesis declared God to be irrelevant, a careless creator who long ago abandoned a flawed universe. Thought and power existed to impose upon reality, and so the Antithesis indulged his every whim, performing deeds both saintly and malevolent with equal verve. He engaged in every virtue and vice, to leave nothing untried. He dismissed talk of final judgement by angels or demons, stating his will would bend to beings who had no right to judge the Antithesis, for his morality stood far above their own.

The Antithesis very much enjoyed combat, finding it exhilirating. He was a physical titan who could generate tremendous bursts of lightning and cyclonic winds, unleashing roaring tempests on his foes. He was also a charismatic scientific genius, albeit a mad one. The Antithesis dressed like a cross between a 1970s glam rock icon and a space marine. Strangely, he had no talent at sorcery or the occult, unlike his progenitor Professor Purgatory.

The Celestial Maiden: The incarnation of the Professor's more exalted nature and feminine side, the Celestial Maiden was kind, benevolent, and merciful...except when it came to those who stood against her grand scheme to create an earthly paradise. Nearly peerless in her command of magicks, the Celestial Maiden was capable of staging rituals with cosmic repercussions, so long as the sacrifice was great enough and the stars were properly aligned. In her greatest campaign, the Celestial Maiden swayed a legion of female champions from a host of worlds into her service, commanding them through the divine blood all held in their veins. Free will would be subjugaged to purity and righteousness, and universal peace would be enforced without exception. Heroes who fought against her would be granted the mercy of eternal slumber, while evil-doers would be made to suffer in their own private hells until they begged their repentence. While the Celestial Maiden's plans were thwarted, she still dreams of constructing her own version of Heaven.

Aside from her potent sorcery, the Celestial Maiden could heal any wound or illness, both her own or those of others, even able to cure life-long ailments. She had a degree of presience, could levitate, and was a brilliant strategist and visionary. Yet despite her intelligence, the Celestial Maiden had no skill with technology and no more than a well-educated but lay understanding of science. She shied away from direct combat, preferring more passive means of incapacitating her foes.

Note: Charles has yet to disclose exactly how the Antithesis and the Celestial Maiden were split off from Professor Purgatory, or much else about exactly how the events depicted in the first-ever full-fledged adventure I wrote went down in the HED-verse. I wonder if any other heroes or villains resulted from the adventure, or if there were any notable vicims of the Professor spoiling for revenge, aside from Angelica De Lynn (who had a pretty good ending in the HED world).

Looking very much forward to seeing any comments on my articles. I'll be back in ten days or so while I work on another project. Definitely also, if anyone can throw any inspiration my way regarding my proposed Big Answer and Robert Jack (mis) adventures, please fee free!

All my best.

[Libra]

Keep up the Good Work fellows!