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World domination in 10 easy steps or Sim's SuperVillain tips

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World domination in 10 easy steps or Sim's SuperVillain tips

Postby Dr Lucien Sim » Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:30 am

1.) Monologuing is passé, plus it give the capes a chance to escape... just shot/vaporize/ chop/ blow-up/ launch into space/ labotomize/ implant mind control chip/ eat or neutralize them the moment they are in your grasp.

2.) If you are going to be a villain, stay away from pastel color schemes in you costume, duh. Also, bright costume colors are out this year, black is this years black.

3.) Silly names do not strike fear into men's hearts; i.e. Mysterio, Mr Freeze, Cheetara, Sabretooth. Find something devious or ominous.

4.)Money and assets are your greatest allies.

5.)Strength, Invunerabilty, flight and all of the other typical powers are all nice, but to be a real villain you need wits, mind powers and resources... (who cares if that cape can whoop your ass, find out his secret identity, make his life hell, kill his loved ones and get him a job at wal-mart)

6.) Anonymity is your greatest ally... keep a low profile, hopefully you can take over and the capes won't know it until it's already too late.

7.) Build an army, in addition collect a throng of civilian followers, bereaucrats, spies, scientists, cultists, rebels and harem girls as well. The more the better and diversity is key.

8.) Make sure you have several different Headquarters and outside of that make sure you have several safe-houses that only your bodyguard/ sidekick knows about.

8a.) Villains need sidekicks too. Look at Dick Cheney.

9.) Never make deals with other villains, they will betray you in a nanosecond... kill other villains at the first opportune moment, eliminate all competition... unless it is advantageous to use them for some other ends.

10.)Don't hesitate over anything, if you say 'In 24 hours I'm going to blow up City A, if my demands are not met... blow it up on the 23rd hour... if they haven't ponyed up yet... they won't besides... they capes are probably on the case, don't give them any opportunities and this way when you decide to blow up City B... they'll pony up in the first hour because they already know you're un predictable....

10a.) Negotiation; They don't want to negotiate with you (they being the normals... ) don't let them, explain very clearly... it's not a negotiation, it's a direct exchange... A for B and stick with that no matter what. Never change your own plan.
"No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die." -Goldfinger
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Postby Ronin » Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:35 am

And remember, Obsessive/Compulsive behavior can be effectively treated!

So get that compulsion to send Batman clues cured, fast.
Last edited by Ronin on Fri Nov 19, 2004 10:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Dr Lucien Sim » Fri Nov 19, 2004 10:04 am

11.) as to what Ronin said, yes... EVER LEAVE CLUES... duh.
"No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die." -Goldfinger
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Re: World domination in 10 easy steps or Sim's SuperVillain

Postby Dread Lord » Fri Nov 19, 2004 10:42 am

Dr Lucien Sim wrote:3.) Silly names do not strike fear into men's hearts; i.e. Mysterio, Mr Freeze, Cheetara, Sabretooth. Find something devious or ominous.

If youre mean enoughalmost any name will work. Think Magneto. Now SAY Magneto. Mag-Neato.

Dr Lucien Sim wrote: 4.)Money and assets are your greatest allies.
And Death Rays! (oh, I guess that would be an asset.)
Dr Lucien Sim wrote:5.)Strength, Invunerabilty, flight and all of the other typical powers are all nice, but to be a real villain you need wits, mind powers and resources... (who cares if that cape can whoop your ass, find out his secret identity, make his life hell, kill his loved ones and get him a job at wal-mart)


EVIL mind powers.


Dr Lucien Sim wrote:8a.) Villains need sidekicks too. Look at Dick Cheney.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: ..... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: World domination in 10 easy steps or Sim's SuperVillain

Postby Frozen Yakman » Fri Nov 19, 2004 11:22 am

Dr Lucien Sim wrote:8a.) Villains need sidekicks too. Look at Dick Cheney.


Which one is the sidekick?
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Postby Dr Lucien Sim » Fri Nov 19, 2004 11:42 am

EXACTLY!
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Postby Dr Archeville » Fri Nov 19, 2004 11:44 am

Dr Lucien Sim wrote:11.) as to what Ronin said, yes... EVER LEAVE CLUES... duh.


Um, I believe you mean "NEVER LEAVE CLUES," boss....
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Postby Dr Lucien Sim » Fri Nov 19, 2004 11:54 am

Dr Archeville wrote:
Dr Lucien Sim wrote:11.) as to what Ronin said, yes... EVER LEAVE CLUES... duh.


Um, I believe you mean "NEVER LEAVE CLUES," boss....


uh-hmmm YES NEVER LEAVE CLUES....

dag Nabbit!!

*Dr. Sim pulls out a revolver and shots three middle aged white guys in tacky business suits that are standing behind him.*

Darn speech writers!
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Postby goodtremere » Sat Nov 20, 2004 11:47 am

*nonchalantly drags bodies to backroom*
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Postby witchfire » Sat Nov 20, 2004 11:57 am

you forgot :

- never have any offspring , they will either try to overthrow you &
fall in love with the hero
Some people struggle daily
They struggle with their concience
'Til the end
I have no guilt to haunt me
I feel no wrong intent
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Postby goodtremere » Sat Nov 20, 2004 12:15 pm

witchfire wrote:you forgot :

- never have any offspring , they will ... fall in love with the hero


Yes, that happened in Austin Powers... nevermind, I think I dreamed that... please don't tell my fiancee.
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Postby akunin » Sun Nov 21, 2004 9:49 am

:lol:
"Mmmm...bacon."

"Squirrel."

"Mmmm...squirrel."
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Postby Valiantheart » Mon Nov 22, 2004 8:02 am

Remove the political reference in 8A. It has no place on this board.
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Postby Dr Lucien Sim » Mon Nov 22, 2004 8:51 am

Valiantheart wrote:Remove the political reference in 8A. It has no place on this board.


No. Freedom of Speech... 1st Amendment... oh wait... you probably don't know your Bill of Rights... as for it's place on this board, it was a joke... sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings.
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Re: World domination in 10 easy steps or Sim's SuperVillain

Postby Dread Lord » Mon Nov 22, 2004 10:24 am

Dread Lord wrote:
Dr Lucien Sim wrote:8a.) Villains need sidekicks too. Look at Dick Cheney.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: ..... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Oh there’s always room for political satire. Or there used to be, anyway. I suppose that because this election divided the country so closely tensions are still high.

I formally apologize for laughing at Sim’s terrible joke. My advisors are referring to the incident as a “humor malfunction”. And it is the position of my lawyers that I am not at fault. My lawyers are filing suet against “Dr.” Sim for pushing faulty humor on the unsuspecting public.
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