by Shinobi » Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:49 am
When the hottest girl in school walks up to you and gives you one of two tickets to a rock concert, what’s the first thing that goes through your head? Me too… unfortunately, my hot date got ruined by the gang Indiana Jones hates, Nazis!!
It was a cool Friday night and for some reason Tiff was going with some other guy, Brad but meeting me there… what the? I guess she was being kind to him, I mean seriously, the football jock or the chess club wizard? No contest right? RIGHT?
Well, I hopped (literally) over to the venue. I had arrived when I realised, I’d forgotten to brush after Mom’s garlic tuna casserole. How could I have forgotten? But true love has no sense of taste, I reassured myself, knowing that one way or another, I was going to plant a kiss on Tiff that very night.
I landed down behind the disused drive-in screen (the concert was taking place at the old drive-in movies), changed into my cool black sweater and jeans and wandered into the crowded grounds. There must have been a lot of fashion-jealous teens, as I was greeted with jeers of, "Geek!" and "Nerd!". Heh, me, a nerd? Sheesh!
Some guy offered me pills but I said no. (Say no to drugs kids!) Then the band started playing. They called themselves the Third Generation, later we would realise they were actually the Third Reich.
Now, I have to admit, the lead singer Eva Braun, or Anadolph, or whatever, was pretty hot. The whole schwass sticker fashion statement was a bit… dated. But the band had a beat to incite the crowd to start bopping. Me? I like Phil Collins…
I saw Declan through the crowd and I also saw Tiff with what’s-his-name. He was looking a bit cosy with her for my liking. I was heading that way when something strange happened. The music actually started to get better, her words were making sense. I really didn’t need to give a hoot about authority… what sort of mother would send her son out to meet the girl of his dreams on a diet of garlic tuna casserole? The guy with the pills came past again and hey, they looked like mints, so I downed it. Now I was angry at the state our nation was in… so were all my bopping peers… I realised I could actually dance under the influence of the hypnotic tones of the band, even with people laughing at me.
So yeah, I had fallen under the spell of the Nazi bimbo and her Gestapo groupies. Luckily, a big blue elephant crashing into the stage snapped me out of it. The kids around me were still entranced, so I ducked down and changed into my new and improved black and green costume, I was looking sexy. Tiff wouldn’t stand a chance after the show.
I leapt out of the crowd, landing on the big white screen above the band. The blue elephant was gone and instead the ultra fast Nazi chick was zipping through the crowd, a blue owl chasing her. I thought she might need an umbrella till the owl turned into a snake and fell on her shoulders.
Kid Light had arrived and was lighting up the night sky with blasts of heat. I sprang off the screen, dropping the lead guitarist with my weight on his shoulders. If I could silence the music, maybe I could wake the hypnotised crowd (and maybe impress Tiff). I bounded off the guitarist’s prone form at the drummer, landing in the kit and punching his ticket.
Seeing what I was doing, the Nazi chick on speed zoomed through the crowd, knocking kids left right and centre. She pulled up in front of me and threw some insulting words at me (well, they sounded insulting but I don’t speak German). Kid Light, seeing her back and an easy mark, powered up his light blast, I tried to leap clear but I had my feet jammed into the drums.
I remember a blinding flash and then the need for a tank of sunburn cream. I lay in the melted remains of a drum kit. The most damaging assault I’d ever taken and it had come from my team mate.
I wasn’t the only one toasty. Eva, or Blitz, as she was now calling herself, looked like she had just received a perm and her pale European skin had a new tanned shade - red. Shifter the elephant and my Tiff flanked her and both landed some good solid hits as I peeled plastic drum off my legs. The crowd had come out of the trance by this point and were scrambling out of the venue.
The police were arriving and Blitz left in a hurry (and I mean a real hurry, I didn’t see where she went… mind you the goggles on my helmet were warped and burnt to the point where I could hardly see anyway).
Then a beautiful thing happened. Tiff cradled me longingly in her arms and ran with me out of the venue. If I wasn’t in so much pain, it would have been more enjoyable (note to self, read up on masochism). She placed me in the backseat of her convertible and I thought “Alright!!” but alas, she got in the front and started driving. I tried the whole “I can’t breath, need mouth-to-mouth” trick but the mood was lost. She threatened to really hinder my breathing so I assumed she was probably getting a bit… well you know, hormonal or something.
She dropped me at home and I clambered up to my room. My new costume was a mess and looking in my dresser’s mirror, I resembled an overcooked turkey.
I peeled of my suit and crashed out.
Had the band not been a criminal plot to overthrow the city, had Kid Light not nuked me, had I brushed my teeth… I’m pretty sure Tiff would be mine… don’t you think?
Last edited by
Shinobi on Sat May 24, 2008 4:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
These writeups always sound funnier when they're written from the perspective of one of the players. Keep em coming mate!