The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

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The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by cobalt-blue » Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:59 pm

Personal note:
The following story uses popularly known names for characters. However this is not fan-fiction. The use of those names are an homage to the characters in an alternate universe. The idea for this first issue is to give the reader a bit of information about the world's alternate history. Hopefully it works better than just a long exposition. You tell me.

United Allied States Army Headquarters New Metropolis.

    Sakura leaned back in her chair as she studied the other geni next to her. Whereas Sakura was from fox stock, Nicole was from the strong front-line wolf breeds- capable of taking an amazing amount of damage, while at the same time, dishing it out to the enemy. She stood nearly twelve feet tall, and her gray fur seemed to blend into the the battle-dress uniform she was wearing. Both women were well-built along human lines, and both were part of this new project- an attempt for the United Allied States to breed their own meta-humans to counter the Nazi ubermensch.

    Up until this project, only the Nazis had been able to successfully field operatives with powers and abilities that could only be described in the comic books of the thirties. Whereas the Germans had bred their ubermensch for seventy years, the Allied forces had used advanced technology, and genetically uplifted animals in their war effort. After the destruction of old New York City on July 4th 1945, UAS citizens had a healthy distrust for ubermensch.

    “What can you tell me about this team?” she asked the wolf-woman. Nicole had just come off a two month orientation with the team that was their side of the experiment’s focus.

    Nicole nodded and smiled- a definitely human affectation she's acquired- and said, “They are fundamentally different from the control group.”

    “Explain,” Director David Hawke asked. He of course was in charge of the implementation of Doctor Zordon's whole project.

    Nicole looked over at their boss and then back to Sakura, “The control group is a military team that operates with military precision. This group is a family.”

    From the tone of the other geni's voice, Sakura could tell that she preferred the team with which she'd just served. “We've had only minimal contact with the control team. Please explain further,” the fox-woman asked, her nine tails lazily curling and uncurling behind her.

    Nicole sighed and continued, “In training, if you pit the Texas team against the Kansas team, the Texans are going to win every time. They are simply the best example of a small unit squad I've ever seen. However, when their backs are to the wall, when their family unit is threatened, this team, this family will find a way to win. The Texan team will go down fighting to the last man, taking their losses with an almost Spartan resignation, but not the Kansans. The Texans fight for honor and duty, the Kansans fight for an ideal. That's much more dangerous.”

    “So you think the Texans are a failure?” Hawke asked, his good eye peering from under the gray eyebrow, the smell of cheap cigars wafting from his dark suit.

    Nicole shook her head and said, “Not at all. I'm just saying that the Kansans have a spark inside them that make them far more resourceful, far more dangerous.”

    “A danger to the UAS?” Hawke asked.

    Again, the wolf woman shook her head, “Only if the UAS threatened to become like the Nazis.” She sighed and said, “You are never going to be able to turn them into the fighting unit the Texans are. But to be honest, when it came to a Nazi invasion, I'd rather have the Kansans at my back than the Texans. The Texans have no problem dying in battle. The Kansans on the other hand see it as a case of if they fall, then there is nobody else to protect the homeland.”

    “But the Eldrich boy was willing to sacrifice himself by carrying that reactor core into low orbit to prevent the destruction of the Fort Riley,” Hawke protested.

    Nicole nodded and said, “Yes, but his sister followed him to make sure that he didn't sacrifice himself. That reactor should have gone critical. It should have wiped out the whole base, setting our research back decades, but Pinnacle found a way, and his sister found a way to keep him alive. He wasn't going down in the good fight to preserve his honor, he was sacrificing himself to save his family, and his friends. It's a subtle difference, but it's very profound.”

    Hawke nodded, seeming to understand the situation far better than most of the command staff with which Sakura had dealt over the past few years. “Okay, let's start looking at them one by one. Give Sakura and myself your impression of them.

    Nicole nodded and said, “Okay with whom do you want to start?”

    “How about Clarke?”

    “Isaac Clarke code named Spectre: Powers are invisibility, insubstantiality, and the ability to “buff” other beings with a hand full of powers,” Nicole said. Sakura noticed a slight gleam in the wolf woman's eyes as if she were remembering something very pleasant. As you know his mother is now in rehab for substance abuse. Both she and her husband have managed to imprint their rather libertine life-philosophy onto him. On paper, it is he that we are being assigned to protect- and in time of emergencies, be “buffed.” Again, the wolf woman smiled pleasantly. “I would say that he and Regina are probably the two most dangerous of the team.

    “Why?” Sakura asked. “Pinnacle lifted a hundred tons into orbit in less than four minutes? Justice put the entire state of Kansas to sleep.”

    “Because if he or Regina identify a threat to the UAS or to their family, they're the ones who are willing to cross just about any line to eliminate it.” She grinned wickedly, showing her teeth and added, “Both could benefit from what you have to teach them.”

    “Parker?” Sakura asked wishing to move the agenda along.

    “Ray Parker, code-named: Devil Doc. At eighteen he has as much medical training as an M.D. His powers allow him fly, generate a force field impervious to heavy arms fire, stretch his limbs and even burrow with them. However, most impressive is the ability to kill with a touch of his left hand, or heal- or even resurrect with his right.”

    “Personality?” Sakura asked.

    “He's being pushed by his parents to be a “super doctor”. His father is an MD, his mother a VMD. He's the team's quiet one. But as Ubermensch's forces found out, he is also quite deadly. He understands life and death probably more poignantly that the others. He also has a taste for seventies muscle cars, having rebuilt one from scratch.”

    “Tell me about the Psi?” Sakura asked.

    “Nathan Corrin, code-named: Justice. He's a powerful telepath, with a moderate telekinesis. So far he's managed to keep the fact that he's a telepath a close secret from everybody outside of the project. That includes Baron Feuer. His frequent proximity to Senator Eldrich would make the general public's knowledge that he is not only a telepath, but a mind controller as well, difficult to justify. And the team needs their patron.”


    “Both of his parents are gifted psychologists. His father is a prominent psychoanalyst. He's been raised understanding how the human mind works from the inside out. He has some intimacy issues as a side effect of his powers, but is surprisingly well-adjusted.”

    Sakura nodded wondering if her “other” skills may be helpful in helping him get over those. “You've intrigued me with your comments about Regina. Let's discuss her next.”

    Nicole closed her eyes and leaned back in her rather large chair. “Hestia Regina Eldrich code-named: Liberty. She's the oldest of a pair of fraternal twins. She's the only female on the team and her powers are centered around controlling fire. She can generate it. She can create a pair of flaming wings to fly as fast as her brother, and she can also use it to fold space between two points with a range of several hundred miles. When she's “buffed” it can reach across the continent.”

    “Personality?” Hawke asked intrigued.

    “In a storm of raging testosterone, she's a ship of unfazeable calm sailing through it with aplomb. She has paid the closest attention to her father's job, and intends to follow him into politics. On more than one occasion, she has said that she plans on being the president of the UAS one day, and I don't doubt her ability to do it. She's fiercely protective of her friends, whom she considers family, and especially so of her twin brother. She's even interfered on his behalf with their father on at least one occasion. She's the one that the others actually fear slightly, something to do with her melting all their toys as a child,” Nicole said, obviously admiring the young lady.

    “Her twin?”

    “Whitney Lang Eldrich code-named: Pinnacle. His powers are what we're calling the paragon-set. Strong, hard to hurt, fast, and nigh invulnerable. He's actually the shyest member of the team, who has some issues to resolve about his strength.”

    “How so?” Hawke asked worriedly.

    “All of his life, he's been told to be careful and not break anybody. That has built up a certain reticence on his part about intimacy. It was further aggravated by his father's attempt a couple of years ago to make him a man,” Nicole said using her furred fingers to make little quotation marks in the air.

    “Anything else?” Sakura asked.

    “Like I said, there are some daddy issues. Psychologically he struggling against what he sees as his father's attempts to control him. In response, he's managed to turn that investment project that Director Hawke approved several years ago into an impressive investment portfolio that outstrips his father's.”

    “And is Senator Eldrich trying to control his son?” Director Hawke asked.

    Nicole shook her head and said, “Not that I can tell. Whitney sees his father as trying to turn him into something he's not, and is fighting tooth and nail against it. However, his father is content that his son is growing into a man of which he can be proud. Whitney is fighting a battle against his father, that his father is not fighting.”

    Sakura nodded. “I think I get the picture,” she said. She knew some families back in Okinawa who had generated an occasionally similar situation. It usually either ended in tragedy, or in a substantial increase in clan power. “What else?” she asked moving on.

    Nicole nodded and said, “We need to discuss a photographer for the Daily Planet named Peter Parker.”

Patriots Complex New Metropolis Five Weeks Previous.

    Nathan Corrin settled into the large comfortable chair in the common room of the penthouse suite overlooking New Metropolis. The rest of the team was there with one exception. Whitney was still MIA. First the government insisted on decontaminating him. When they discovered that he was unaffected by the radiation of that reactor they wanted to study him. Then when Major Scott had stepped in, they asked for his services down at Cape Canaveral. They still hadn't gotten any real answers about when he was coming back.

    Across the coffee table from him Ray was settling into another easy chair. Hew was thumbing through Whitney's history notebook going through the other teen's tight neat handwriting looking for things that might be on the test. His blue eyes scanning the words from under his raven hair. Next to them on Nathan’s right, stretched out on the sofa, Isaac seemed to be trying to absorb the information from the textbook through osmosis as it was lying upside down and open across his face. Nicole was in the kitchen area, and it smelled like she was making a pot of coffee.

    Regina entered the room, and plopped down on the sofa opposite Isaac and sighed as she smoothed her poodle skirt. “Just got off the phone with Whitney. He'll be here tomorrow.”

    “Did he tell you what he was doing?” Nathan asked.

    “Only that he was working with the space program. I get the feeling that he's very tired,” the raven haired girl said as she settled into the sofa, her feet tucked under her. Nathan let his eyes drift quickly between her and Ray noting just how much the two looked alike. Obviously she and Whitney were twins, but Ray could very easily be a triplet with his blue eyes and black hair. Of course he recognized that although his own and Isaac's hair were brown, their features could easily identify them as members of the same family. They weren't, but it sure looked like they were.

    She reached down and picked up her own text book and sighed disgustedly. “We just graduated. Why are we studying for a test?”

    “Because Major Scott wants us to do as well as we can on the upcoming Met U placement tests. For some reason, he wants us to make sure that we have the history down,” Ray said still scanning through Whitney's notes.

    From under the open book on his face, Isaac said, “Okay, what's the first thing you think will be on the test?”

    “Definitely the asteroid strike of 1854. The one that set off the great winter decade,” Nathan said as everyone nodded their heads. “Yeah, snow in June for a decade pretty much wrecked the Northern States' food production. I guess there's going to be an essay on that. How it left the South in a strong position so that the Civil War ended the South was able to force reparations from the North and compensation for freeing the slaves.”

    “Do you think it'll touch on the Great War?” Regina asked.

    Nathan shook his head and said, “Not much more than it was trench warfare and that it ended with the Treaty of Versailles.”

    “Maybe the Red Baron,” Ray said. “I think it'll deal mainly with rise of fascism and the European unification under Adolph Hitler the First.”

    “Yeah, and of course Pearl Harbor. Two of our carriers were sunk and Halsey killed made the war in the Pacific almost untenable,” Regina replied. “I'm sure there's going to be something about the eventual nuking of Tokyo and the freeing of the Okinawans.”

    “Yeah, Patton taking Italy and killing Mussolini only to have to turn around and give it back to the Germans because he had to rescue Montgomery in Southern France after McCauliff was captured in the Black Forest,” Nathan interjected and quickly added, “And the battles between the German ubermensch and Allied walker-tanks.”  There was always a friendly rivalry between all of them to add as much to the study sessions as they could.

    “Yeah but that stage of the war went on for almost a decade. We nuked Japan, the Germans used their jets to get past the Russian lines and turned the whole dang country into a nuclear wasteland where even today nothing lives. Then the fight for North Africa that left the entire Arabian Peninsula uninhabitable,” Nathan said picking up the narrative. They all wanted to make sure they did well on this test. Disappointing Major Scott and Doctor Cranston was not an option in any of their minds.

    What about the period from 1945 through 1951?” Ray asked.

    “Uhgg,” Nathan said shaking his head and then began listing the litany of events. “Lots happening there to cover. Japan, or more accurately, Okinawa becomes a US territory. The Allied armies are forced off the European continent. The full use of jet powered aircraft, and armored walker technology changed the face of modern warfare. Feuer-Krieger and his band attacked New York and burned it to the ground killing three million. The Allied fire bombing of most of Austria and Germany. The Germans taking all of Africa, and the Allies subduing Asia. The cease-fire of 1948 that lasted all of eighteen months until we found out about the Jewish Holocaust and the Germans began to ethnically cleanse all of Europe. The ubermensch-backed invasion of the Southwest through Texas, Arizona and New Mexico. The first use of a neutron weapon on Mexico city that wiped out most of the German ubermensch forces. Arin Zola defecting to the Allied forces and bringing the ubermensch technology with him. The Chinese counter offensive against the Germans that resulted in them getting nuked.“

    “Don't forget about India,” Isaac said. “Whatever happened there, turned the whole subcontinent into a giant breeding ground for monsters that we're still dealing with today. Even the Germans help us keep it contained.”

    “Yeah, it was hard time. The plague that followed forced both sides to hole up and stop fighting for at least five years. It wasn't until '56 when the Germans started moving again in Africa, and began doing to it what they'd done to Europe. The sinking of the hospital ship Elanor Roosevelt started the fighting all over again,” Regina said sadly.

    “If you can call that stage of the war fighting. Most of it was long range bombings and V-2 and V-3 rockets. I don't think there was a single battle where an actual army met another army,” Isaac said. “Not exactly fighting. But still it gave the Allied forces time to develop the geni technology. We were short on man power, but the uplifted wolves, dogs, cats, otters, and whales made a difference later.” Nathan always thought that Isaac was a bit too interested in the genies.

    “Yeah, but at least they managed to complete rebuilding New York during that time, and renamed it New Metropolis,” Ray said, spreading his arms wide to encompass the city. Of course rebuilding it wasn't exactly accurate. Feuer-Krieger's fire had burned stone, metal, and flesh alike. Old New York was five burroughs that covered not only the island of Manhattan but the whole bay area. Now it was fortified walled city built more underground than above covering only Manhattan- there was an Aeronavy base on Long Island, but for the most part the surrounding land was farms now. Behind three hundred feet high, hundred feet thick walls, gleaming towers of concre-steel and glass rose to scrape the sky. Below, a maze of passageways, highways, and underground construction housed eight and half million people. Only a half a million, including he and his friends chose to live above ground now.”

     “What about the Nordic Rebellion?” Nathan asked. “You think they'll ask about that?”

    Regina frowned slightly and said, “Ten years of bloody war from 1960 to 1969 where we invade Norway and Sweden at the behest of their underground and the Germans once again try to take Britain.”

    “Yeah, but they managed to cause China to completely collapse. Mao-Tse Tung was killed which actually did us more good than harm driving the final nail into the coffin of communism. The Germans consolidate their power in Africa, completing their murder of a hundred million people,” Ray said bitterly at the thought of that kind of loss of life. The Germans were efficient if anything.

    “Yeah, but it led to the formation of the UAS. The allies merged to become the United Allied States, with its capital here in New Metropolis.”

    “Yeah, and the Germans attacked Britain yet again. Sometimes I wonder why they're obsessed with those islands,” Regina commented.

    “It's because they can't stand to have the UAS that close. And that time they got their behinds handed to them. It was the first time GPS technology was used and the German Navy got caught between the RAF and the American Navy. The new Tomcats sank the most powerful of German battleships and crippled their sea-forces. Of course they managed to hit Saskatchewan and Central America with their ICBMs. Losing the Panama Canal hurt us as bad as destroying their navy did them,” Nathan countered.

    “Think there will be anything about the death of Hitler?” Isaac answered.

    “Probably just that he died in 1972 of natural causes and was succeeded by his son, Adolph the Second. I think that the more important question will be what forces led to the peace treaty of 1982,” Nathan said.

    “That one is easy,” Regina replied. “After nearly forty years of off and on fighting at least one plague and several nuclear strikes, both sides were exhausted, the world's population was where it was after the Black Plague hit Europe and Asia in the Fourteenth Century, and resources were at a premium. Nobody could afford to keep fighting. Both sides were forced to the negotiating table. The problem is that we've had seventeen years to rebuild. The Germans have been making noises about their ubermensch, we've created a whole new series of armored walkers, and a new generation of genies to fight for us. There's been a bit of economic growth for both sides. The question is whether or not we will go back to war, or find a way to make a lasting peace.”

    “You sound like you don't have much hope for that,” Nathan said.

    Regina shrugged, “Look at us. We were designed to be the next generation of UAS ubermensch...,”

    “Meta-humans,” Isaac interrupted. “Doctor Cranston doesn't like us to be called ubermensch. It suggests that we're as bad as the Nazis.”

    Regina frowned and shrugged. “Meta-humans, ubermensch, or supers, whatever you want to call us, Doctor Cranston designed us to be weapons of war. I think it's going to be very difficult for us to escape that fate.”

    “Perhaps,” Nicole said entering the main conference room and sitting in the huge over-stuffed chair that Regina had bought for her. “But I've seen films of the ubermensch in action. You are not like them. I prefer to use the term, meta-humans.”

    “You prefer to use the term, pack-mate,” Nathan said with a gentle smile. “But the higher ups don't want to you to use it because they are afraid we'll start seeing ourselves as genies.”

    “Isn't that what we are?” Regina asked. “I mean geni means Genetically Engineered Individual. That sounds like a good description of us.”

    “That's depressing,” Isaac said sitting up and putting the book on the table. “Let's get back to the real question at hand. Do you guys feel comfortable with being able to do well on the test?”

    “If it's on recent world history, yeah,” Regina said.

    “Good, then let's go see a movie. I've had enough studying for one day,” the other boy said.

“You've been asleep on the couch!” Nicole protested.

“I can study with my eyes closed,” Isaac said. “Still do you guys want to go to a movie?”

    “Sure,” Regina said. “As long as it's not a documentary or beach bunny flick.”

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Re: The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by cobalt-blue » Sun Mar 18, 2012 7:44 am

Next Morning Regina and Whitney Eldrich’s Apartment

Regina stumbled into the kitchen of the luxury apartment she shared with her brother- well at least would share with her brother when he got here- sleep still in her eyes. She'd fallen asleep late last night her worries about Whitney keeping her awake. It was around four when the steady sound of the rain against her bedroom window finally lulled her to sleep.

“Mornin's Sleepy-head,” her brother said from across the room.

“Whitney!” she screamed instantly awake as she literally flew across the stone tiled floor into his arms.

“Whoa there, Sis!” he said with a smile hugging her back. “You're about to set off the fire alarm.”

Looking over her shoulders, she realized that her wings were beginning to manifest. Blushing she pulled their heat back into her body as her brother set her down. “When did you get in?” she demanded.

“About six this morning. You were still asleep so I let myself in,” he said. She could see the fatigue in his eyes. Something was going on and she knew she wasn't going to like it.

“Exactly what have you been doing, Baby Brother?” she asked.

“That's classified,” he told her.

“Our lives are classified,” she countered. “You aren't going to start keeping secrets from me now.”

He smiled and said, “I've been saving the government close to a billion dollars.”

She raised an eyebrow and asked, “How? And I hope they're paying you for your time.”

He grinned hugely and said, “You better believe it. You know the space program has sort of gotten the short end of the stick since the fifties. There were several things they wanted in orbit. It would have cost the government a pretty penny putting them there. I put them up for a significant discount.”

“How much of a discount?” she asked knowing that her brother always had an eye toward profit. In their quieter moments when they still spoke twin to each other, he'd told her of his plans to eventually have enough money so that he wouldn't be living in their father's shadow.

“Let's just say that they were very happy with the deal and so am I,” he told her.

She nodded and let the subject drop- for now. Stepping back she looked at him carefully. He was tall with raven hair and blue eyes. He was solidly built without looking heavy. Actually she knew that under that neatly pressed white shirt he was wearing that his musculature was extremely defined- like someone out of those muscle magazines that were so popular right now. Still he looked tired and his eyes were a bit puffy like he hadn't been sleeping well. “Why didn't you call me?” I'd have picked you up at the airport,” she asked.

He smiled and said, “I didn't take a plane.”

“The train?” she asked.

He grinned hugely and said, “No.”

“You flew all the way here?” she demanded. “You know Major Scott doesn't want us to be seen using our powers!”

He laughed and said, “You haven't seen this morning's Daily Planet have you?”

She shook her head and picked it up from the table and her heart sank. On the front page in huge type were the words: UAS's Own Ubermensch? Fort Riley's Saviors! Under it was a huge picture of Whitney under the reactor containment unit flying high above the base in Kansas. He was wearing his pajama bottoms and nothing else. Most disturbing was that his face was clearly visible. Next to him there was a picture of Regina, her wings spread wide, flame forming a bright halo around them and her. Fortunately, her face was hidden by one of the wings. Below the photo were the words: Photograph courtesy of Peter Parker

“This is not good Whitney,” she said. “People can identify you now.”

Whitney shook his head and said, “I don't think so. Most everybody who knew me were in Cornstalk when Feuer-Krieger slagged the reactor outside of town. Major Scott and Doctor Cranston had an idea we're going to try.” The loss of all their friends in that attack still weighed heavily on Regina's soul. Only the fact that Nicole had gotten their families to the safety of the air-raid shelters had kept the attack on the town from being a total loss to the teens.

“Which is?” Regina asked incredulously.

Whitney smiled, ran his hand through his hair to slick it back, then reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a pair of black-rimmed glasses- Regina had heard the soldiers at the fort call them “birth control glasses”. Putting them on, Whitney slouched slightly and stuck his hands in his pockets. Regina shook her head and said, “Now you just like Whitney with a bad haircut and glasses.”

Her brother smiled and said, “Yeah, but you know me, most people don't. I was surprised at how well it worked at the Cape. Add into it the new uniforms, and it should work pretty well.”

“When are those going to be ready?” she asked. About a week before the incident- the Major had asked them to design a costume for them to wear in public- something to identify them as their public personas. To be honest, she'd forgotten about it until now.

“We pick them up this morning. The major and Doctor Cranston want us to meet them at ten for some kind of briefing,” he told her.

“Any idea what it's about?” she asked.

Shaking his head, he replied, “No, and that worries me. I know I heard some interesting things down on the Cape, and they put the whole base on high alert- but I couldn't tell if that was because of what I was doing or if it had anything to do with rumors of a German u-boat believed to be off the East Coast.”

“There's a Nazi U-boat in American waters? Are they out of their collective minds? German agents destroy a UAS town, attack a military base, and set bombs on its reactor and now they send a u-boat here! Are they trying to provoke another war?” she demanded not believing what she'd heard. There were already calls in the Senate for a counter-strike- but fortunately, cooler heads like their father had prevailed.

“According to Dad, the Germans are claiming the attack was by ubermensch terrorists- the same terrorists who destroyed one of their own facilities in Austria,” Whitney said.

“You talked to Dad?” she asked. “And the city is still in one piece?”

“Dad and I talk,” Whitney protested.

“No, you and Dad yell. Dad and I talk,” she countered.

“We talked,” Whitney insisted. Then with a chagrined look he added, “And we yelled.”

“You two are going to have to get your acts together. You can't keep doing this. Dad has to learn to trust you, and you have to learn that Dad's not out to run your life,” she told her brother.

“No he's just out to make me into something I'm not,” Whitney groused.

Regina shook her head in disgust. It was like talking to her father. That was the real crux of the problem: they were so much alike that they couldn't tell when they actually agreed. Finally she asked, “Have you had a chance to look around?”

Her brother nodded and said, “Pretty swanky if you ask me.” Looking around the large luxurious apartment, he asked, “What, you and I share an apartment, and the rest of the guys share one?”

She shook her head and said, “No. You and I get one. Ray and Nathan get one, and Isaac shares one with Nicole.”

She watched Whitney's eyebrow rise. “Isaac and Nicole? Does the brass really understand just how fast he really is?”

Regina shrugged and replied, “According to Major Cranston, her job is to protect him and to give him someone to “buff” in emergencies.”

Whitney shook his head and said, “And “boff” in others?”

“Whitney!” Regina protested, but she really knew in her heart that her brother was right. “You don't think he'd really..., I mean with a genie...?”

Whitney just shrugged and said, “We all know Isaac. I don't think a little thing like different species would stop him. “

Regina nodded, and realized that it was true. She halfway expected that things had already progressed that far.

Whitney looked again at the apartment, a signal that he didn't want to discuss their friend's love life with his sister. “Well, I can live with this.” He looked at her and added, “If you can.”

Regina smiled and nodded. “Actually, I'd rather have it this way than sharing with another female. We already know each others quirks.”

“In that case, let me fix you breakfast,” Whitney said with a smile.

10:00 a.m. UAS Project Headquarters- Doctor Cranston’s Complex:

Ray did not like the glasses on Whitney. He didn't like what they represented. Whitney was being forced to hide his real self behind those glasses instead of hiding Pinnacle behind a mask. It was going to be far more work for him to keep his secret than for the rest of the team. He was also honest with himself to admit that what he really didn't like was the idea that someone got a picture of the team in action. Nobody in Kansas was awake when that picture was taken- at least nobody should have been awake. Nathan had put the whole blasted state to sleep trying to stop the attackers.

But he was glad to have their gentle friend back. Even though the five of them had been raised in four separate homes by four separate sets of parents, they'd always felt a lot closer than just friends- the modified genes each of them carried binding them as close as any family. And if they were a family then Major Jason Lee Scott and Doctor William Kevin Cranston were their parents. Which, considering the relationship between them, might be more true than anyone suspected.

Major Scott was obviously irritated by the story in the Planet. He kept saying that anybody who got that kind of photo had to have had one heck of zoom lens. Isaac kept looking at the picture of Renina's rear and making wolf whistles. They all knew he it was mostly harmless, but it was still annoying. Ray wondered if the guy ever thought of anything other than women.

Finally, Doctor Cranston drew them back together for the meeting. “Okay, there's nothing we can do about this now. Whitney and the Major have come up with a solution that appears to have been effective while he was at Cape Canaveral. But for now we have more pressing issues to deal with. It seems that you are going to be put to work before your training is complete.”

“What's up Doc?” Isaac asked flopping down into his chair at the table.

Doctor Cranston shot him an annoyed look, but Ray detected more than just a little amusement behind those sea-green eyes. Before he could say anything, the intercom on the wall buzzed. With a smile he walked over and hit the button to unlock the door. “I think I'll let Colonel Taylor explain it.”

With another buzz, the door swung open and a tall black man with a shaved head walked in. He was wearing a pea coat over a ground-forces uniform. Ray noticed the man was missing his middle finger on one hand- the hand in which he was carrying several file folders. He smiled over at Major Scott and Doctor Cranston, and Ray got the feeling that there was a history between the three men. Turning to look at the team, the man seemed to take the measure of each of them in a single glance. This was obviously a man accustomed to making life and death decisions in an instant. “Doctor, Major. I take it these guys are the UAS' answer to Ubermensch and Feuer-Krieger?” he said.

“Hello, Colonel Taylor,” Doctor Cranston said. “This is Liberty, Justice, Specter, Devil Doc, and Pinnacle. They're your operatives for this mission.”

“Mission?” Whitney asked looking over at Major Scott.

Taylor smiled and said, “I thought I'd give you first shot at the people who destroyed your hometown.”

They all looked at each other and nodded. The team didn't need the psionic rapport that Nathan usually maintained between all of them to know that the decision was unanimous. “What can we do for you Colonel Taylor?” Regina asked.

Taylor tossed the stack of file folders down in front of us and said, “We've got a delicate situation going on. This Peter Parker person may have done us a favor without realizing it. He's planted the idea into the public's mind that the UAS may be fielding meta-humans, for the greater good. Fifteen years ago, the idea would have been unheard of, but because of that picture, the people are listening. And not just the people, but the Germans are listening too.”

“What do you mean?” Ray asked.

“I mean that the Germans are claiming that Ubermensch and Feuer-Krieger are terrorists. Being as there has been similar attacks in Germany, their claim has some merit. They've sent one of their crack ubermensch teams undercover into the UAS to capture or eliminate them.”

“And the UAS allowed this?” Regina asked incredulously.

Taylor shook his head and said, “No. They're operating here without sanction. That is something the UAS in general and the Office of Scientific Investigation in particular can't allow. Normally, we'd send in our top agents, but they're on another mission, and to be honest, I don't want to put normal agents in a situation where they may get in caught in a crossfire between meta-human forces.”

“But you're willing to send us,” Whitney asked.

Taylor smiled and said, “My main brain here tells me that you can put a hundred tons of radioactive material in space in less than four minutes without suffering from radiation poisoning. The science boys down at the cape tell me six impossible things before breakfast every day, yet they are impressed with what you did for them.” Nodding he said, “So yes, I'm willing to put you in that situation.” That made Ray wonder exactly what Whitney had been doing after Major Scott had whisked them all away to a safe house after Feuer-Krieger had scragged their hometown with enough hard radiation to make it unlivable for the next forty years.

“As long as we're clear about it,” Whitney said as something seemed to pass between him and the Colonel.

Colonel Taylor shook his head and said softly, “Teenagers with attitude indeed.” Then turning back to the rest of us, he continued, “There's a file on what we know about the operatives the Nazis sent. Baron Feuer, a flying flame elementalist who's a direct male descendent of Baron Manfred Von Richthofen. He's the team leader. Madam Blitz, a lightning elementalists who we believe has ties to the SS, and maybe even the Hitlers. We really want her out of the country. Sinnesfeuer, a psychic with a sadistic twist. She's a real loose cannon and we're not sure why the High Command even sent her on this kind of delicate mission. Last is Geschwindkeits-Krieger, a speedster. We don't know anything about him except that he's the bastard son of a German duke somewhere and that he's rather young.”

“What about the terrorists?” Regina asked.

“We know less about them than we do the team the Nazi's sent.” Colonel Taylor said with a sigh. “We know that Ubermensch was the first meta-human the Nazis fielded and the one for whom they were all named. He's strong, hard to hurt, and flies. Then there's Feuer-Krieger, a flame elementalist. He's the one responsible for burning New York City to the ground in the forties. Nacht-Krieger, a shadow based assassin that’s been around for nearly as long as the others. It would appear that lately those two have gone through a serious upgrade in powers. There are at least two others: Krystal-katzen who has some kind of glass projecting powers and an unknown operative we haven't been able to identify.”

“So exactly what do you want us to do?” Regina asked.

Taylor shrugged and said, “Find Ubermensch and his team and bring them to trial,
capture the German team for trial and deportation, would be my optimum goal.”

“And what will you settle for?” Regina asked no sign of surprise at the colonel’s outrageous demand.

Taylor shrugged and said, “Capture or kill the terrorist, or at least drive them out of the UAS, make contact with the German team and work with them to accomplish the former, while making it clear that their unsanctioned presence on UAS soil is unacceptable. A diplomatic solution is probably our best option.”

“That’s still setting the bar pretty high, Zack,” Doctor Cranston said.

Taylor shook his head and said, “These are the big leagues Bill. People’s lives are at stake, not to mention the chance of sparking another war.” He sighed and added, “And we all know that war is something neither side can afford right now.”

“Still, you’re asking them to capture or kill some pretty powerful Ubermensch,” Major Scott said.

“That’s why we suspect that you are going to be forced to work with the German operatives instead of fighting them. Ubermensch, Feuer-Krieger, or Nacht-Krieger each alone are enough to threaten your whole team. Together, it’s going to take all of you,” Taylor replied.

“I think you sell us short,” Whitney protested.

“I hope so, Pinnacle,” Taylor replied. “I certainly hope so. Otherwise somebody won’t be coming back from this mission.”

Ray just smiled and thought to himself, That’s why I’m here, Agent Taylor. That’s why I’m here. Little did he realize how true that thought was going to be.

“Where should we start?” Nathan asked.

“In the past week there have been nine unexplained fires in the lower part of the city. Some of them were so intense that the NMFD had to let them burn themselves out. You may want to start by checking those out.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Isaac said. “Maybe we should take a Geiger Counter with us.”

“Why?” Ray asked.

“Because, the fire Feuer-Krieger used on Cornstalk may have been radioactive. We think his powers are mutating,” Doctor Cranston said.

“Oh wonderful,” Ray said. “Just what we need- Another of us in isolation while the government decides whether or not we’re radioactive.”
Last edited by cobalt-blue on Wed Apr 04, 2012 7:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by Horsenhero » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:05 pm

Impressive start CB. Right into the action and a really detailed "alternate history" explained in a reasonable fashion.

The only glaring error I found in the story was where the narrative slipped into first person. It had been a third person narrative, the there was a little bit of "We were...yadayada", which threw me for a moment.

I hope you continue this. It's got the potential to be riveting.

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Re: The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by cobalt-blue » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:28 am

Hmmm, where was that? I don't doubt it for a moment. I think I've grown a bit too comfortable with first person with other stories. That was why I chose third person here.

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Re: The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by kipling » Fri Mar 23, 2012 8:03 am

This paragraph:

"We all looked at each other and nodded. We didn't need the psionic rapport that Nathan usually maintained between all of us to know that the decision was unanimous. “What can we do for you Colonel Taylor?” Regina asked." Last post of the story. (I'm still reading it.)
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Re: The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by cobalt-blue » Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:26 am

Thanks. I will fix that when I get home.

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Re: The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by cobalt-blue » Wed Apr 04, 2012 4:56 pm


12:00 Noon Warehouse District Sub-13 New Metropolis

Isaac ran the geiger counter along the smooth granite walls of the warehouse, carefully avoiding the still cooling rock at its base. It was clicking too much for the teen’s comfort level. Whatever had started the fire in this warehouse had burned so hot that the solid stone walls didn’t have time to crack and pop, they’d simply melted like magma and sloughed downard.

“Definitely radioactive. Not dangerous as long as we keep our exposure to less than an hour, but the cleanup crew had better use Hazmat suits,” he told Regina, once again appreciating the fine form of his team leader, and old friend. He knew that the others tolerated his rather libertine attitude toward things, but was bothered by this particular expression of it. After all, Regina was like a sister to all of them.

“What about exposure to the local population?” Whitney asked. “Are they safe?” He was always thinking about the safety of people around him.

“Not any,” Nathan said. “The locals this deep in the city don’t like to be too close to the more prosaic aspects of life in “The Warrens”. They like to live in their fairytale estates safe and happy in the knowledge that any attack on the surface city won’t reach them this far below.” There was a mocking tone to Nathan’s voice that spoke to his attitude about being this deep underground and the people who chose to live here safe and sound from another Holocaust like the one in ‘46.

“What do you mean?” Ray asked.

Nathan began to lecture, “The underground section of the city was built to resist any more attacks like the Fire of ‘46 when the whole city was burned to to the ground. It was originally intended simply to be bomb shelters like in New London- a maze of massive caverns where food and materiel could be stored and the population could seek shelter. But early on, several wealthy families snatched up the deepest sections and started carving their estates, and businesses out of the rock. Pretty soon others started following suit. Before long most of the city had moved underground. That’s why our apartments upstairs are so spacious. The government could afford luxury penthouse suites for us because everybody who is anybody wants to live and work in the Warrens. Hell, I don’t think the capitol buildings on the surface have ever been used for anything except ceremonies. People feel safe underground here. There are Metropolitans who have never seen the surface.”

“But if this is the “wealthy” district, why are there warehouses nearby?” Isaac asked somewhat confused.

Whitney spoke up, “You know that the Warrens are built as caverns dug out from a central cylindrical pit dug where the old Central Park used to be?”

Isaac nodded and said, “Yeah. There’s a spiraling highway built along the walls going all the way down.”

“The warehouses for each level are placed near the entrances to the level. That way the supplies can be disseminated throughout the level more easily. That’s also why there are access tubes and lifts built all over the city, and why no automobiles are allowed off the main highway.”

“That still doesn’t explain why there are warehouses near the hoity-toity area of the city,” Isaac replied. Then realizing that he may have offended Regina and Whitney- as a son and a daughter of a UAS Senator, they were after all among those wealthy and elite- he added, “No offense intended.”

Whitney smiled and said, “None taken. I’m building my money for a reason.” In an insight that the others- except for Regina- probably missed Isaac realized what Whitney was doing. He was building the resources so he could live a private life without comment from his father.

Nathan frowned at Whitney, and then said, “Because without those warehouses then even this section of the Warrens would find goods and services far too expensive to make living down here feasible- and because federal law requires each level to have them. That’s why there are other tubes around the city to bring people down here without having to pass this reminder of how the rest of us live.”

“I think that it has more to do with not wanting that kind of traffic pressure at the entrances,” Regina added. “If everyone had to access the caverns from the main pit, that’s too many people along a single causeway.” Then to soften the correction she added, “But Nathan’s right about a lot of the people who live in this section. They really do feel superior to the rest of the folks.” Then with a gentle smile she added, “I understand Nathan’s parents now have a practice on this level- so they can be closer to their clients as well as their home.”

Nathan turned a bit red and then turned his attention back to subject at hand, “So, the fire that burned this out was radioactive?”

“Yeah, and that’s going to open up a whole new can of worms,” Whitney said. “Whoever did this is more than just a casual threat to the population.”

“I didn’t know that Feuer-Krieger’s fire was radioactive,” Ray said calmly as he checked his bag for something.

“Colonel Taylor said that they thought he and Nacht-Krieger had undergone a recent upgrade in powers. That might explain it,” Regina replied looking around. Something in a darkened corner seemed to catch her eye.

Walking over to the pile of melted stone, she knelt and studied it for a moment. Finally she turned and said, “Nathan, come here a second, please.” Isaac always liked the way Regina said please. It was both a request and a command at the same time.

The whole team followed him over where she pointed to a strange protrusion and said, “Can you use your TK to push the stone away?”

“What for?” he asked.

“I want to see something,” she replied.

The brown haired youth nodded and complied. For a second his brow knitted and then the thick stone began to flow away from something embedded in it flames flaring as the hotter molten material inside was exposed to the air. As the magma rolled back it revealed the blackened form of a rather large human skull. Next him, Nathan felt Whitney gasp.

“I think we may have a clue,” Regina said.

“Why didn’t the bones burn?” Ray asked.

Whitney shook his head and said, “I don’t know. They should have. Maybe we should call Doctor Scott and get them to his lab?”

“Good idea,” Regina replied. “Nathan, you expose it and Whitney and Ray call it in. I think there’s a phone back at the end of the corridor.”

Whitney nodded to his sister and looked down at the pile. Suddenly he said, “Nathan stop!”

“What?” Nathan asked looking surprised.

Whitney knelt down next to the pile. He looked around to see if anyone was watching and then reached into the semi molten stone and pulled out what looked like a metal box about the size of three-ringed binder. The words OSI- Eyes Only were stamped across its red-hot surface. Shaking his wrist, he flung the clinging lava onto the wall.

“Whitney! Don’t!” Ray protested.

The raven-haired boy turned his blue eyes on his friend and said, “It doesn’t hurt, and after Cornstalk, I’m not worried about the radiation.” Why did those words send a shiver down Isaac’s spine? Looking at the box he said, “We need to get this to the OSI too.”

Regina grinned at Ray’s reaction, and said, “Ray, you go make the call and I’ll make sure my baby-brother doesn’t get himself injured.”

Ray went off mumbling about taking too many chances and that one day he wasn’t going to be there to heal them.

“What is it?” Isaac asked.

“It looks like some kind of sealed OSI courier package,” Whitney replied turning it over in his hands. “They’re designed to seal tight when the courier is killed.”

“Do you think this is the courier?” Regina asked.

Whitney looked closely at the box and then at the skeleton that was now revealed. Shaking his head, he said, “No. That skeleton stood at least six feet tall. This says “Issued to Trini Kwan Taylor. I wonder if she was related to Colonel Taylor?”

“Guys,” Nathan interrupted. “We’re being watched.”

“What? Where?” Isaac said looking up to his friend.

“There’s a man standing in one of the antechambers,” he said. “And he’s thinking in German. Name is Gunter Heid and he is working for Baron Feuer.”

“What is he doing?” Regina asked.

“Right now he’s gathering information about the UAS operative that Feuer-Krieger killed alongside of one of his own men, and he knows that we’re the new UAS ubermensch,” Nathan said.

“I want to talk to him,” Regina replied. “Bring him to me, Whitney, Ray.”

Before either of his teammates could move there was a flash in the corner of the antechamber and then a series of booms down the long corridors of the underground section of the city. “Too late,” Nathan said. “He’s gone. He saw Whitney turn to look at him.”

Regina looked in that direction and said, “He wasn’t good enough to not get caught, but he was smart enough to get out while the gettin’ was good. Where does that leave us people?”

“We know that Baron Feurer is definitely here. We know that he has one operative named Gunter Heid, and we know that there was some conflict here, possibly between Baron Feuer’s group and Ubermensch’s team, and that at least two people were killed- both by Feuer-Kreiger,” Whitney said angrily. Isaac was touched by his gentle friend’s dedication to preserving life. He suspected a great deal of it came from his conditioning from a young age to not hurt anybody with his powers.

“We know that Feuer-Krieger is using radioactive fire, and we know that an OSI agent by the name of Trini Kwan Taylor was here with an eyes only courier packet,” Ray added.

Regina shook her head and said, “Pack it up, guys. Let’s get this packet back to OSI Headquarters and send someone to check out the site. I want to try to figure out a way to contact this Baron Feuer, and find out what Ubermensch and his team want here.”

2:00 p.m. UAS Project Headquarters- Doctor Cranston’s Complex:

“We have reason to believe that Ubermensch is going to target Doctor Cranston. Because of that, we’re moving him to a safe location where we believe that the German terrorist will not be able to find him,” Major Scott said carefully.

“Where?” his sister asked.

“We have a place near our hometown that only one other person alive knows about,” Major Scott said. “I’m going with him. He’ll be safe.”

“The cabin at Harper’s Gorge?” Whitney asked.

Major Scott turned to him surprised and asked, “How did you know about that?”

“I did my homework, Major,” he replied. Whitney had taken a bit of time to do some actual research using the base’s networked computers to find out a few things. There was a reason that Doc and the Major had taken the death of Agent Taylor so hard. She was of course Colonel Taylor’s wife, and the four of them had grown up together out West- a sleepy little town called Angel Grove somewhere on the California coast. The four of them plus another friend, a Kimberly Hart, had survived a forest fire in Harper’s Gorge when they’d been adolescents. With a little digging- okay for anybody but Whitney it would have taken several weeks of digging, he’d found out about it.

“That was quick,” Regina said. “If you can find it out that easily, it may not be as secure as the major thinks.”

Whitney smiled at his sister and said, “You know how quick I can be. I do however owe the research lab several new keyboards. To find out what I did, the person would first have to be as fast as I am, and second they would have to access to the UAS computer network. Since as far as I know, the public has not been given access to the interwebs, they can’t pull it off.”

The major seemed to be mollified by his answer and said, “Yeah, the cabin at Harper’s Gorge. It’s deep in the woods and the nearest facility is a wildlife research station on the other side of the gorge. He should be safe there.”

“But we have more information for you,” Colonel Taylor said tight lipped. The fact that he hadn’t been granted bereavement leave spoke volumes about the importance of this mission. “While Major Scott takes Bill into hiding, I’ll be in command of this mission.”
Regina crossed her arms and said, “Okay, Colonel. What are your orders?”

The colonel looked to Major Scott and asked, “I see what you mean.” Then turning back to Regina he said, “We’ve received a communique from Baron Feuer. He wants a meeting.”

“Somewhere public I suspect,” Nathan said.

“You got it, Justice,” the Colonel said. Whitney noticed that Colonel Taylor was far more comfortable with using their codenames than either Major Scott or Doctor Cranston.

“Where, how many, and when?” Regina asked.

“At an outdoor cafe near Metropolis University, just the Baron and Blut Adler, at seventeen hundred,” the Colonel said. I suspect the rest of his team will be nearby. That’s why I want Liberty and Justice to meet the Baron and his flying compatriot. I want the rest of you to stake out the area and find the rest of them. If they pose a threat, neutralize them.” For some reason that last command worried Whitney. He just didn’t have any idea to exactly what lengths Isaac would go to carry it out- but he should have.

“How are you getting to the cabin?” Whitney asked.

“We’ve arranged for a military flight out there,” the colonel said.

“Too likely to be noticed,” Regina replied. Turning to Isaac she said, ‘I need you to boost me. I’ll take them there and nobody will be the wiser.” Whitney noticed that she used the term boost. With anybody else, whenever Isaac used his powers to give other people powers or boost the powers of his teammates, they used the term “buff”. However, considering Isaac’s reputation with women, AND the side-effect of being “buffed” was an orgasmic pleasure to the person receiving the powers, everyone used the term “boost” when it was applied to Regina. Turning to Major Scott she said, “I need a picture of the place.”

The major smiled and produced a photograph from the pocket of his uniform. “We thought you might insist.”

Regina just smiled and said, “Come on, Major, Spectre, let’s go find the Doctor and get you two safe and settled in your cabin. Then I’ve got a meeting with a German ubermensch.”

“Anything you say, Darlin’” Isaac said with a smile and a leer.

“Behave Isaac- or I’ll melt more than just your GI Joes this time,” Regina warned.
“I love it when you talk that way, Liberty,’ Isaac replied as they disappeared down the hall.

“I’m not sure I want to know what that was about,” Colonel Taylor said.

“You don’t,” Whitney said through clenched teeth. “Trust me, you don’t.”

Three hours later, Whitney was wearing his new costume under his suit and was sitting on top of a building across the street from the cafe where his sister and Nathan were sitting sipping coffee and talking at a patio table. Nathan was relaying the conversation to the whole team. Ray was across the street on the building where the cafe was housed, and Isaac was in a nearby alley.

:Here they come,:
Nathan warned across their link.

Whitney looked down to see a red-haired man in his forties and another man in his late twenties with blond hair approaching the table where his sister and his friend were talking about that new band on the radio: The Surf Boys.

"You are the team leader?" the older man asked.

Whitney watched his sister nod and heard over the rapport as she said, "You are here illegally." Leave it to her stick to the script.

"And Ubermensch murdered several hundred people in your hometown," Baron Feuer replied. "He will kill more innocent people if we don’t stop him."

"Why is he even here?" Nathan asked. "According to your government, he’s been blithely killing people in Germany.

"Because he sees something over here as a threat for his plans of world dominated by the ubermensch," Blut Adler said.

"And what is that?" Nathan asked.

The Baron shook his head and said, "We don’t know. We know that he is unhappy with policies of the present Fuhrer, and that statements by the heir apparent, have not eased his worries."

"What policies?” Nathan asked. Whitney understood that his teammate was trying to get the Baron to the think about the internal politics that was driving this problem. He could getter a better idea of what was going on from the Baron’s mind.

Before he could hear a reply, a voice from behind him asked in a thick German accent, “See something you like whelp?”

Whitney mentally cursed himself for letting someone get the drop on him. Turning around he saw a woman in her forties dressed in a black overcoat, trousers and tight blouse with a military cut to it. She had a severe bob-like haircut, and gray eyes. “You must be Madam Blitz,” he replied in German.

The fact that he spoke the language seemed to have caught her off guard. “You must be the Eldrich boy. We have no files on you. Why is that?” she asked covering her surprise.

Whitney smiled and said, “I don’t know. Maybe because you spend more time spying on each other than you do us- not that I’m complaining mind you.”

She seemed to stop for a moment and study him. Whitney understood how his sister felt when Isaac would stare at her like that- like a piece of meat for his pleasure. She raised an eyebrow and said, “Not bad. You have potential boy. I wonder if you’re as good as you appear.”

Whitney shrugged and said, “So do you expect this to be a fight?”

She grinned wickedly and said, “I would be disappointed if you didn’t put up a fight.” Suddenly lightning began to crackle around her hands and head. “I think you’ll like it in the Fatherland. I can supply you with an almost unlimited supply of young willing girls to father a new race of super beings upon.”

“What?!” he demanded. Her comment completely caught him off guard.

The lightning bolt caught him completely off guard and slammed into his chest burning away the light jacket he was wearing and dancing along his costume underneath. In less than a second he stripped from his clothing and took to the air not as Whitney Eldrich but as Pinnacle. His mind focused on moving quickly and that meant that he did not understand what she said next as she too dropped her overcoat and rose to meet him in the air above the alley.

Looking down he was shocked to see his teammate, Isaac engaging a woman in the alley in a far different activity. He noticed Madam Blitz gaze follow his and she too shrugged. “It would seem that Sinisfeuer has found her match.”

All Pinnacle could say was, “In an alley?!”

Turning back to him, Madam Blitz said, “Now where we, Whelp?”

Slowing his mind and body down, he asked in German, “I thought you guys wanted to meet and discuss options for bringing in Ubermensch, not fight?”

The German operative chuckled and said, “That’s Baron Richthofen’s mission. Not mine.” With a quick movement, she lashed out at him with another lightning bolt! This one slammed into him with far more power than the previous attack and he felt it bite deep into his muscles.

Pinnacle had had enough. If she wanted to fight, he could give her a fight. He accelerated toward her and slammed his fist into her jaw. Unfortunately, her lightning control power seemed to include a force field. He felt the energy crackle and bite at his fist, but hold against his attack. However, the force field may have held, her ability to stay in place didn’t. The power behind his own punch rocketed her backwards and down the alley where she bounced off the side of one of the buildings and then ricocheted into the alley itself.

As she rolled to her feet and tried to rise again into the air, she drew back her hand, and literally hurled a ball of lightning in his direction. It moved much slower than the previous attack and he noted that as it plowed into the building, it arced along the power lines leading to it, and back to the transform down the street. The lights along the street began to flicker as the transformer tried to handle the overload of power.

Madam Blitz used his momentary distraction to rise again into the air and circle toward the street where Pinnacle assumed she could call for her teammate’s aid. Pouring on the speed, he caught up with her and grabbed her by a fleeing ankle. Crunching down on the force field surrounding her ankle, again he felt the power of that field try to fry him, as he twisted his hips and slung her into another alley. “Oh no you don’t. You started this with just you and me, and that’s the way we’re gonna keep it,” he growled to her.

He followed her down the alley as she bounced off the ground and into a metal dumpster that had the words, “Kilroy was here,” painted on it. A pair of eyes and a long nose poked above a wall drawn below the words.

Madam Blitz rolled to her feet and came up with a two handed lightning bolt to his face. It hurt. It hurt like no pain he’d ever felt before in his life, but he shook it off. Closing the distance, he swung at her again, this time, the spots in front of his eyes from the blast threw off his aim and he missed but managed to punch a hole through the dumpster behind her.

She ducked and dodged out of the way taking once again to the air. Pinnacle shook his head and took off again following her. He figured out rather quickly that he was faster than she was, and far stronger. As he caught up with the Nazi ubermensch, she turned, charged her energy field, and grabbed the sides of his head. His skin felt like it was on fire as electricity poured through his body. With a Herculean effort he flung her hands away from him and hit her with a right cross- hard.

He felt the field collapse under his punch and his fist connected with her jaw. She went spinning away and into the side of yet another building. This time she fell to the ground without the benefit of her force field and Pinnacle noted the sounds of breaking bones as she hit the concrete in the alley below.

As he dropped from into the alley he heard the sounds of clapping. Looking down toward the street, he saw Ray and a rather handsome blond man perhaps a few years older than himself standing there clapping their hands at the fight. “I’ve been wanting to do that since I was assigned to this mission,” the blond said.

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Re: The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by Gilliam » Sun Apr 08, 2012 3:07 pm

I am enjoying this story as well, it is very well written and I did like the way you handle the info dumps as it gave a quick and believable summary of the history of the world without it being over the top.

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Re: The Patriots: A new campaign story- REALLY WANT FEEDBACK!

Post by kipling » Sun Apr 08, 2012 6:01 pm

Have been dealing with a death in the family. Will try to comment soon.
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