Welcome to St. Metrovilleburg: a campaign setting that is half The Tick, half Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, three-quarters Mystery Men, and half Nextwave. Yu-huh St. Metrovilleburg can have three halves and an extra three-quarters! When you create a merping campaign setting, you can decide how many halves and quarters and sevenths it has. Now shut it because this is all about a setting that satirizes comic books. Oh, and it uses the third edition of Mutants & Masterminds… but… you probably already knew that… I’ll bet you didn’t know that prospective characters are intended to be PL 10 and built on 150 points though, did ya? Well, you might have. I mean, aren’t most games?
Anyway, for years, St. Metrovilleburg was protected by Warrant Officer Paragon. A lot of people thought it was a stupid name. “Why not be Captain Paragon?” they asked. Well, Warrant Officer Paragon was in the United States Armed Forces and only ever made it to Warrant Officer, okay!?! You think it’s easy to become a captain? Sure, Captain America did it but he enlisted in 19-diggidy-what? Warrant Officer Paragon enlisted when he turned 18, which was, like, five years ago… I think. I dunno, sliding time-scales are confusing. Look, the point is, people who criticize Warrant Officer Paragon’s name need to learn to shut their merping yaps…
The lone survivor of the doomed planet Sassafras, baby Da-Vid was taken in by a nice gay couple and raised as mild-mannered Sebastian Wilde. Those aging queens raised Sebastian with love and compassion and instilled in him a sense of civic duty, a drive to help the less-fortunate, and an unparalleled fashion sense. Still, everything changed when Sebastian joined the Army, where he was given an experimental designer drug—a super serum of sorts that reacted with his alien physiology and gave him super-powers.
To quote Tenacious D, “What powers, you ask?” How’s about super-strength? Flight? Invincibility? Super-speed? Ice vision and heat breath—because breath is hot, DC—super-hearing, X-ray vision and that unparalleled fashion sense those old gay guys bequeathed on him? Yeah, that bad boy went through the merping roof…
Well, Sebastian left his small town of East Minutia for life in the big city: settling into St. Metrovilleburg, Sebastian found employment as a left-wing opinion columnist for The Daily Yapper. It was all a part of his disguise, however: as none would suspect that a vocal proponent of President Seth “Lefty” Triggs’ socialist agenda was actually ultra conservative and militant right-winger Warrant Officer Paragon. Not even conservative talk show host Carol North suspected that the true identity of the man she had begun to have casual sex with.
Garbed in red, white and blue, Sebastian became the bustling conurbation’s champion. With his fantastic gifts, he defeated super-villains like the Bulldog Brothers, Gunchaku, Marquis von Wilhelm, the Ghost of Molly Ringwald, Cuticle Kid, and Captain Nebuchadnezzar—who was never even in the merping army!
Of course, his greatest adversary was Sam Samson, a billionaire industrialist with nothing better to do than concoct scheme after scheme against Warrant Officer Paragon. I mean, honestly… You’d think if you had all that money, you’d be happy. No, not Sam Samson… The guy was bent on being a criminal mastermind which… would have been great if he could even manage to conquer the crossword puzzle in the St. Metrovilleburg paper, The Daily Yapper. I guess what I’m getting at is: Sam Samson was not that smart. He just had a lot of money and was pretty bored. Also, he was bald.
Anywho, in only a few weeks, Warrant Officer Paragon had obliterated crime in St. Metrovilleburg. It got to a point where even shoplifting, reckless driving and tax evasion had ended. No criminal in their right mind would make a move in St. Metrovilleburg, which might explain why crime was on the rise in Scary City, Middle Municipality, Celestial City and Detroit… Regardless, no one transgressed the law in St. Metrovilleburg. No one, except Inebriationman.
No one knows Inebriationman’s real name or where he came from, but everyone knew of him: perpetually drunk, this homeless man reeked of whatever dumpster he had used to shield himself from the elements the night before. With the meta-mutant power to emit violet rays from his hands that get people really, really drunk—and possibly cause a smidge of cancer, although no tests have been officially conducted to conclude that so it’s probably just an urban legend—most always thought he was a harmless bum. Whether it was Warrant Officer Paragon who brought him in or the St. Metrovilleburg police department, Inebriationman would be kept overnight in a holding cell until he sobered up. As soon as he was on the streets though, Inebriationman would soon be intoxicated again and the cycle continued…
It was as Warrant Officer Paragon man raced across the sky to stop a 10-year-old from stealing $5 out of his mother’s purse that Inebriationman impossibly managed to clip the defender with one of his purple rays. Instantly, Warrant Officer Paragon was drunk. Falling asleep, he fell out of the sky. If he had slammed into the side of a building or plummeted into the street, his invulnerability would have protected him from harm. Warrant Officer Paragon did not collide with any such surface, however. Instead, he crashed into the seashore.
A funeral service is planned for 10 a.m., Tuesday, at City Hall. The Reverend Zaphod Zamboni will officiate.
In the wake of Warrant Officer Paragon’s drowning, a cadre of criminals has congregated on St. Metrovilleburg. Without the city’s hero to stand against them, the truly nefarious have run amok. The Mighty People—formerly the Mighty Men until 1996 when Miracle Ma’am pushed to make the team more politically correct—have declined to offer assistance, with each member of their group already established in their own cities.
It fell then on the shoulders of one man—a lifelong citizen of St. Metrovilleburg—to rise up and gather forces of justice dedicated to preserving Warrant Officer Paragon’s memory by preserving the peace: Sal Carmichael, a private eye, took out an ad in the Penny Pincher seeking responsible superheroes to band together and fight crime…
That would be you…
Now, you might be used to games where a GM has you post a concept and maybe a build, looks them over and then posts a list of who made the cut. Merp it, that’s how I did it the last time I started a game. This campaign setting is a little different and recruitment is going to be a little different… Right after I post this, I’m going to create an IC thread and recruitment will be handled in character. You don’t even have to have a build. For this game, I really don’t care about your build. Honestly, feel free to do whatever you want so long as it’s within the confines of the game. Just know that I’m going to be looking more closely at the concepts that you bring to the table. Really, this game is going to be more about having good, silly fun at the expense of the genres we love so much than it is about power gaming.
Basically, get a good concept, be effective, and have fun. Some advice
: this game’s more about satire than parody. Parody’s great and all. I mean, did you read that little intro up there? Warrant Officer Paragon? Yes, it’s Superman and Captain America. Fantastic. Look at these two characters…The Grim Limerick
: Dennis Murphy was a mild-mannered pizza delivery boy who took an order to the wrong side of town. Though his attackers knew he would be carrying less than twenty dollars in change, they shanked him for the cash and the pie and left the young black man to die on their doorstep. That was when the time-traveling robot, Saint Patrick arrived and saved Dennis’ life by turning him into the Grim Limerick, this era’s defender of all things Irish. Koalaman
: When Adam Knight was a child, he watched in horror as his parents were killed… by cancer. The day they were laid to rest, Adam vowed that he would devote his life to fighting cancer. His funneled his considerable assets into cancer research. As an adult, he championed the cause of cancer awareness, including appearing on a telethon in a koala costume. A local gang looking to enhance their reputation by committing on-air murder broke into the studio. In order to stop their massacre, Adam fought them in the mascot suit and realized that he may have another purpose in life: fighting crime as Koalaman.
In that instance? I’m going to be more inclined to bring along the 6’7”, black man dressed like a leprechaun than the guy who’s rehashing Batman’s origin.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask…
Also, to give you an idea of the sort of game this is, a few characters: Count Floppenstein
, Officer Davidson
, Sal Carmichael