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X-Men: New Beginnings - OOC

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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Interest Check)

Postby Aerlwyn » Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:49 am

Will think on it a bit and come up with an idea.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Interest Check)

Postby Malagant » Tue Dec 20, 2011 3:00 am

I'll officially open this up for recruitment, since we have more than enough interest to do so.

By the way, it's not the X-Men cartoon I'm basing this on, but the X-Men comic restart that happened in the '90's.

Although, the old cartoon from the 90's was based on it. So if that's how you know it...

Also, X-Men Evolution (especially the 3rd season) are some of the best X-Men storylines around. Great watch if you haven't already. Although this game will assume the older main characters.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Interest Check)

Postby Chris4172 » Tue Dec 20, 2011 4:23 am

I'm up for this. i have an idea for a telepath that I would like to play.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Interest Check)

Postby Belial666 » Tue Dec 20, 2011 4:28 am

Astra (Amanda Warren) PL10

Abilities 32 + Advantages 7 + Defenses 17 + Skills 11 + Power 83 = 150
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"I can throw you into orbit. Do you still feel lucky, punk?"

APPEARANCE
With her curvy and very fit body clearing 5' 7", her long, straight platinum-blonde hair, her clear, unblemished skin and an almost perfect heart-shaped face sporting a french nose, almond-shaped baby blues and naturally full ruby lips, Amanda Warren would have been the ideal supermodel or Holywood actress if not for her powers.
Having no trouble with skin cancer, gravity or frigid winds, she gravitates towards bold, skimpy outfits more for the challenge and to make a statement than to attract male attention. She often goes for the punk/anarchist look rather than slutty or cheap, a point driven home with the help of her trademark scowl. Oh, and the occasional incineration of overly adventurous males.

PERSONALITY
"Astra", as Amanda calls herself now, is a social, outgoing young woman with a strong personality and charisma that easily becomes the center of a situation. She is demanding of others and herself, persistent, always working on one thing or another and seizing the moment, letting no opportunity go to waste. Natural wit and awareness combine with her presence and a bit of stubborness to make her a decision-maker in any situation. At the same time, Astra is an opinionated, self-centered, over-acheiver. She often ignores morality in favor of her own acheivement, glory and pleasure. She does things to benefit others as long as they also benefit herself and the only people she feels a strong empathy for are her few friends and other mutants.
Respect, friendship and other emotionally-charged relationships are slow to grow on her and she naturally gravitates towards capability and power. Her relationship with law and order is... flexible. She believes in an orderly society as the best way for people to fulfill their potential but she also believes that society should include her, and at a high place at that.

RELATIONSHIPS
Amanda's relationship with her mother and father is a cold, business-style one. Her father Antonio being a major shareholder in overseas trading companies (and rumored to have once been a druglord in Mexico), he is rarely at home and the anti-mutant hysteria in third-world countries is far more limited than in advanced ones so even when he sees Astra, he still measures her with calculation, how her beauty and more recently her powers can help the company. Her mother Elizabeth is a socialite trophy wife, and where Astra got her good looks from. Contrary to expectations, she happens to be a better parent and taught Astra how to be a social girl but recently has started to oppose Astra's "dangerous" forays in the business world where she uses her powers.
Amanda has a bad relationship with mutant response division leaders - she has trashed quite a few Sentinels and military vehicles after being attacked. She has a far better relationship with the soldiers in those vehicles for various reasons (hey, she's a beautiful young woman in a skimpy outfir after all) the most important her being very careful not to kill of main them and occasionally transporting them to hospitals after the action. It would not do for actually legal charges like "murder" to be added to her resume; it would hurt her business prospects. Plus, it's polite and causes division among enemy ranks.
She has better relationships with other mutants. She does not buy into Xavier's spiel of complete non-violence (do even the X-men themselves?) but does hope for peaceful (and profitable) coexistence and while she likes Magneto's strong attitude and supports his attempts to organize mutant-kind into a powerful force, she does not condone attacking first; nonviolent power use in society is more advantageous in her opinion. She has met her share of both the "good" and the "bad" guys and rumors say she's friends with the Juggernaught for some weird reason (though they don't specify why). Among the few mutants she openly respects is Emma Frost and she is known to actually listen to the other woman's advice. But maybe that's just ms Frost's psionics at work.

BACKGROUND
Amanda Warren was once a fairly normal "popular" girl in a fairly normal New York school. All of thirteen when she first displayed her first mutant ability -the ability to project light from her eyes like a small torch- she had still been perceptive enough to hide the fact from her parents and fellow students. Around that time the public opinion turned against mutants and things were becoming ugly between the Brotherhood and the X-Men, not to mention politicians first proposing registration acts that would later lead to wars.
Cute, highly perceptive and quite athletic, Amanda had no interest in joining the "losers" group (as she called them) and focused instead on becoming her school's most popular and successful girl, a goal she achieved with looks, practicality, bitchiness, and her parents' generous allowance.
Over the years, she grew to become a forceful, poised, socially active young lady while her powers slowly matured. Becoming stronger and faster than normal was a nice perk in situations where intimidation served better than diplomacy or to show those simple-minded jocks who was boss. But her powers weren't nearly as advanced as that of other, more well known mutants until the day the Fantastic Four first fought Galactus. That fateful day, Amanda was sixteen, the prom queen and had just gotten her learner's permit. She had a cute date and got to drink as much as she could stomach (which was surprisingly much given her size). That perfect date was ruined when a stray blast from Galactus' Power Cosmic traveled over thirty miles and smashed into her school. The school collapsed. Eight students were crushed and over a hundred were injured. Amanda, being at ground zero of that blast, survived without a scratch. She passed out as her body momentarily overloaded but soon woke to find herself under a ten-ton broken support column that felt as light as a feather. Pushing it aside, she walked to the school's parking lot to find her father's porsche crushed and continued towards home on foot.
Galactus was beaten. The world rejoiced. Mutants eventually became a target for even worse discrimination and hatred. But as Amanda discovered, the development of her powers had advanced by a good ten years at least. She was stronger than a locomotive and could fly faster than a speeding bullet. Her gaze could incinerate its targets, disintegrate atomic bonds and emit various types of radiation. Instead of being dismayed at having fully developed as a mutant, the young socialite decided to make the best of it; these powers were given to her for a reason and if she could no longer live as a human girl, she'd become the most successful and powerful mutant.

POWERS
Astra's power is the ability to project and control the natural phenomena and conditions of a star. She could apply a star's immense gravity to move around and crush objects for example, or project high-energy neutrons and microwaves as if from a fusion reaction, decay the integrity of atoms like in a collapsing star, sense visible radiation even through objects or great distances or take on aspects of the solar wind.
She is still a teenager about to be a full adult but since a stray cosmic blast jump-started her powers, her powers have developed years ahead of her body. So far, she has learned to control only a small part of what she can do and take on only a very tiny portion of a star's aspects or their magnitude but that might soon change. The one drawback of her powers is that she occasionally emits surges of radiation in random frequencies. Those aren't strong enough to harm people or objects but may cause interference in any number of communications.

CURRENT AFFAIRS
Over a year has passed since Amanda's powers were forced to develop early. Astra, as she chose to be named, was a seventeen year old girl that could rival in power all but the strongest mutants. Her forceful personality leading to her viewing her powers as her gift and right, Astra leans towards Magneto's ideas rather than Xavier's. Astra likes her expensive lifestyle and since she's only borderline adult still (and has not completed her education yet), she occasionally hires out her powers to corporations and individuals for one third what it would cost to do the same job with technology. So far, she has launched two communication satellites for countries that lack their own space program, has performed several abyssal depth retrievals of sunken cargo and helped with deep-bore mineral drills.
She has also helped in disaster relief several times, especially in cases of massive damage where her high mobility and apparent strength can clear the area, transport supplies and relief teams, rescue trapped people or move the earth to block floods or volcanic lava. The reasoning behind those attempts is fairly straightforward and mimicks that of major companies; help a country with a relief effort now, build up goodwill and display your capabilities, and when the time comes for a job instead of relief efforts, they pick you over others. It's like advertising, only better.

COMPLICATIONS
Motivation: Advancement - personal and for the human race as a whole. Astra believes in the middle ground between Xavier's utopian optimism and Magneto's radical aggression. Mutants (and thus Astra herself) are better -evolutionally at least- than common men but she sees no reason this should be treated different than the differences between those born high society and those that have no prospects. And if the future is to be better, then those best able to rule must do so.
Prejudice: Mutant Mutants are persecuted in much of the world and while Astra comes from high society and has learned how to navigate her way socially into business with people that do not care she is a mutant, she still has to face those that intentionally hunt her down.
Once a bitch, always a bitch: Due to both her high society origins and assertive personality, Amanda rarely sees others as equals (not unless they prove they are) and is highly agressive in pursuing her own opinions over those of others. She sometimes comes off as unreasonable, condescending or coldly emotionless.
Static Surge: Astra's growing powers send out surges of energy at random times in random frequencies. These seem to happen more often when Astra is under pressure of some sort, to the frequency of once or twice a day. The surge is not strong enough to cause damage but can play havoc with communications; it has disrupted television and cellphone signals, private communicators, radar in nearby planes, even psychic links when it comes off at the same frequencies as the mind's bioelectric field. The first obvious drawback of these static surges is that Astra never knows if her phone, tv, comm gear and the like are going to work every time. Another drawback is that blocking tv signals during a football match broadcast live is going to annoy the neighbors and disrupting radar signals if you go to the airport might give pilots and airflow controllers a good scare. And while the surge only comes once or twice per day in a random frequency and rarely lasts over a minute, someone with the right devices could still pinpoint Astra's location.


ABILITES [30 pp]
Str: 0/10 Agi: 1 Dex: 0 Fgt: 2 Sta: 4 Int: 0 Awa: 5 Pre: 3

ADVANTAGES [5 pp]
Very Attractive, Favored Environment: Aerial, Power Attack, Move-By-Attack

DEFENSES [17 pp]
Dodge 5 Parry 4 Fortitude 12 Toughness 4/15 Will 8

SKILLS [6 pp]
Athletics 1(+11), Insight 1(+6), Perception 5(+10), Persuasion 5(+8/+13), Unarmed Attack 8(+10)

POWERS [88 pp]

Stellar Power [38 pp variable array, quirk: noticeable (glowing eyes)]
. . Gravitic Strength Field: Enhanced Strength 10, Power Lifting 10, Impervious 16 vs nonenergy
. . Implosion: Multifire Blast 4 (extra range 4, vs fortitude, affect objects, accurate 8, secondary effect)
. . Nuclear Vision: Blast 6 (extra range 11, accurate 7), Senses 8 (extend vision 4, ignores concealment)
Sunfire Body: Protection 11, Immunity 11 (life support, own slam), Regeneration 5
Forcefield Flight: Distracting Flight 18 linked Protection 2

OFFENSE
Initiative: +1
Unarmed: +10, DC 25
Implosion: +16, fort DC 19
Nuclear Vision: +14, DC 21
Last edited by Belial666 on Mon Dec 26, 2011 2:05 pm, edited 12 times in total.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Interest Check)

Postby Shadowbourne » Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:55 am

I am definitely interested...will post a build or two.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Interest Check)

Postby Shadowbourne » Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:30 am

Here is a start...originally a PL 8, will have to adjust: IF he has a chance of making the cut...

Shadowbourne(Tyler X)
Role: Infiltrator/Spy
Affiliations: X-Men, Xaviers School for the Gifted
PL8/PP120

Mutation Type: Dimensional Aperture Activation. Tyler's Body acts as a conduit to the Darkforce Dimension, even so far as acting, at times, as a gateway.

Mutant Abilities: Generation of clouds of darkness, creation of portals, decoys and traps through shadows. Increased speed and movement abilities

Strength 3 Stamina 3 Agility 6
Fighting 6 Dexterity 2
Intelligence 2 Awareness 4 Presence 2

Skills
Acrobatics 6(+12)
Close Combat: Shadow Flow 6(+12)
Deception 8(+10)
Expertise: Streetwise 4(+6)
Insight 3(+7)
Perception 5(+9)
Sleight of Hand 6(+8)
Stealth 8(+14)

Advantages
Agile Feint, Assessment, Defensive Roll 5, Equipment 1, Evasion 2, Hide in Plain Sight, Improved Disarm, Improved Trip, Move-By Action, Power Attack, Prone Fighting, Redirect, Skill Mastery 2(Acrobatics, Stealth), Uncanny Dodge, Up the Wall

Powers
Shadow Flow Array
Shadows don't run, bolt or even really move...they simply flow. Flow like water over everything...and everyone.
***Shadow Diving[Accurate, Easy, Extended Teleportation 4 Medium: Shadows w/ Change Direction, Subtle, and Turnabout] Like pools of water, pools of shadow are nothing more than doorways to other places.
***Shadow Surfing[Insubstantial 3: Permeate Translucent Material and Small Openings, Move Action, Precise. Slither and Wall Crawling 2] Riding a shadow is nothing more than surfing on the walls.
***Shadow Pool[Burst Area Visual Concealment Attack, Progression 2] Like a lake of darkness, the shadows gather to hide all within their radius.
***Umbral Undertow[Dimensional Movement Attack 9] Every shadow is a deadly trap, reaching up to cloak you in an embrace of chilling darkness.
***Tenebrous Torrent[Strength Damage +3, Multiattack 6 w/ Indirect 4, Reach 3, Medium: Shadows]A veritable rain of blows from every shadow unleashed upon a lone target
***Umbral Eruption[Strength Damage +2, Burst Area 5, Selective 5, Indirect 4, Accurate 3]A deadly blow from every shadow within a single breath.
***Shadow Glimmer[Visual Illusion 8:Independent. Linked to Concealment: Visual: Darkness/Shadows only.] Even the shadows protect their own when they step in as proxies.
Shadowmeld
Concealment: All Visuals, Darkness/Shadows Only. The shadows embrace and guard against detection
Nighteyes
Senses 2: Darkvision. The darkness holds no secrets.
Shadow Dodge
Enhanced Dodge 6, Enhanced Parry 4. Neither here nor there, within shadows there is always an escape.

Equipment: X-Uniform[Immunity 2: Cold/Heat, Feature: Quick Change. Commlink. Flash Goggles]

Offense
Initiative +6
Unarmed +10 DC18
Tenebrous Torrent +12 DC21[23/26]
Umbral Undertow +12 DC19 vs Dodge
Umbral Eruption +8 DC20
Shadow Glimmer DC18

Defense
Dodge 12, Parry 10
Toughness 8/3 without Defensive Roll
Fortitude 6
Will 8

Complications:
Blinded by the Light: Tyler suffers from Light Blindness. Bright, daytime light will impose a blind condition on Tyler until he can adorn his Flash Goggles. In darkened areas, his vision functions as well as anyone else with normal lighting.

Freak on a leash: Tyler's own shadow has become animated. It moves about freely and of it's own accord and can alter it's own shape and size. In doing this, the shadow often reveals Tyler's often guarded emotions. This is especially true when his emotional state is greatly heightened. His shadow is rarely, if ever, helpful.

Origin:
With a sudden flicker, a patch of darkness seems to expand as a figure comes hurtling through it. Without missing a beat, the slim figure easily flips over a low retaining wall and gracefully slides down the four story apartment building. Just a few feet from the ground, the figure pushes off the wall and continues at a dead run, ignoring the shouts of the now trapped police officers still on the rooftop.As the shouts suddenly turn crude, Tyler couldn't resist stopping and turning back to give the lawmen the finger. His smirk quickly faded as he notices one of them shouting into a radio and pointing down at him. Fear now etched upon his face, Tyler turns back and starts to run again.

Even as his feet begin their rapid assault upon the asphalt, his mind turns back to just several weeks ago when his new found abilities surfaced.

Tyler began his day like he always did, walking through the early morning streets and sizing up his marks. Looking for the easiest targets...watch for who was paying attention and who wasn't. And most importantly, watch for others doing the same. It wouldn't do to get into a fight over whose “territory” it was. It was during this daily routine that Tyler's mind drifted for a moment...thinking to why he was living on the streets...His earliest memories were those of the streets. Tyler couldn't remember a time he wasn't on the streets. It was where he ate...where he slept...where he lived. Of his parents, he had no memories...nor those of any other family. It was as if the very city itself gave birth to him...to Tyler, his past was a mystery. Still, that didn't mean that Tyler wasn't smart...he wasn't an animal. He knew how to read and he knew how to do some math, other than that, everything else was a blank...It was at this moment he actually bumped into someone. Startled back to the real world, Tyler found himself knocked to the ground with an angry teen standing above him. The boy was wearing gang colors and was not alone. Looking from one face to another, Tyler counted six boys, all slightly older than him and definitely bigger than him. The one that knocked him down began to scream at him, yelling that Tyler had no business here. It was at this point that the beating began...he could still feel the toes of their shoes kicking his ribs. Foot after foot, blow after blow, Tyler had thought he was going to die. And he surely would have had his mutant powers kicked. As the pain had began to blur, Tyler had wished he had someplace to hide..someplace dark and away from all of the pain.

The darkness blossomed out of Tyler almost instantly, it's deepening gloom quickly swallowed the entire group. With their angry shouts changing to ones of fear, they stopped in their assault of Tyler. Opening his eyes, Tyler found the boys screaming in the dark...a dark he could see in...a dark that was all his own. Scrambling to his feet, Tyler took this opportunity to take off as fast as he could. And he didn't stop when this comforting blanket of shadows disappeared a dozen yards later. He just continued to run...

Much as he was doing now. Cops and radios...he always forgot that the cops had radios. And this time they were angry...much angrier than the other chases he had lead them. Rounding another corner, Tyler looked up in time to see a cruiser slide in front of him at an angle. Not slowing, Tyler simply slide up and over the still moving hood and rolled back into a run. Putting on a burst of speed, Tyler aimed for the mouth of another alley. As he cleared the entrance, he spied another alley way branching off of this one. His form was just turning the corner when the cruiser sped down the alley and made the turn after him...

As the police sped down the other alley, Tyler straightened up and took a deep breath. Walking slowly, Tyler stretched his legs and calmed down, letting the adrenalin slowly fade.

“That was a nice trick there”

Tyler spun back around at the voice. At the mouth of the alley was a man in a wheelchair. He was wheeling himself towards the young man. “You are quite fast Tyler...quite fast and very sly,” he said in a deep and resonate voice. The voice was almost comforting. Instead of bolting, Tyler stood still. He was curious as to what the man in the chair had to say.

Over the next few moments, the man explained that his name was Charles Xavier, and that he ran a school for gifted students. A very special group of gifted students. He offered Tyler a chance at a better life, a better education, and more importantly, a home.

The cruiser missed the young man walking away with the man in the wheelchair....
Last edited by Shadowbourne on Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:09 am, edited 8 times in total.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Interest Check)

Postby EnigmaticOne » Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:12 am

Tempted.... Might make a summoner, transmuter or creator character.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Interest Check)

Postby Malagant » Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:46 am

Everyone has a chance Shadowbourne.

I'm not going to go into critiquing builds until I've made the final decisions - just so you guys know not to expect any comments. Which characters fit best in the story and with each other will be obvious from the concept, story and core build.

Recruitment closes Christmas day (probably late, there will be presents that need opening in the morn' :)).
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Recruitment Closes Christmas Day)

Postby EPIC » Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:12 am

I'm going to remake Krystal from 9th Doctor's X-Freshmen game.

That was pl8 and 2e, so it needs a remake, but basically character can create crystals from her body (which is partially crystalline) and ment said crystals, which are already hard as steel.

She plays as a 'warrior' archetype. Not super strong, damage coming mostly from the sharpness of her crystal weapons. Durable from crystalline armor and reinforced physiology and ability to regenerate herself.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Recruitment Closes Christmas Day)

Postby Phicksur » Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:17 am

I want to play Orbus.

I am re-writing his narrative, though. Make him a screwup who suddenly had powers, made a mess, and was 'rescued' by Xavier's school and taught to control his powers.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Recruitment Closes Christmas Day)

Postby Aerlwyn » Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:27 am

Thinking about a teleporting thief type. Still working on how it all will look and a backstory that makes sense.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Recruitment Closes Christmas Day)

Postby Phicksur » Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:36 am

Orbus is ready.

He is, essentially, a kid. He knows nothing, and wants to be accepted. He possesses tremendous powers, but lacks finesse and control so he doesn't try to actively use them.

At this point I believe every PP he earns from this point forward will be in Intellect and skills, given he's never worked on them before and that would be what the Professor would want him to work on. In his pursuit of acceptance, that'd be where he would put his effort, that and controlling his powers.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Recruitment Closes Christmas Day)

Postby Tinkerbell » Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:48 am

It's been a while since I've done third edition, so I've chosen to pregenerate a character with the GM kit. I don't think the defenses are right. Maybe someone can give this the third degree while I get some writing done? The concept is a mutant that has demon traits and GREAT FLAMING EYES. It's most likely going to be due to tampering by Mr Sinister. Then again I have this idea of "what would happen if a mutant and a demon made a baby?" OK, stats now.
Str 6
Sta 6
Agi 2
Dex 2
Fgt 10
Int 0
Awe 2
Pre 2

Advantages

Attractive 2, Daze (Deception), Fascinate (Persuasion), Inspire

Skills

Deception 8 (+10), Insight 8 (+10), Perception 8 (+10), Persuasion 8 (+10)

Powers

Demonic Physiology: Protection 3 • 3 points

Devilish Speed: Enhanced Advantages 6 (Close Attack 4, Improved Initiative 2); Quickness 2 • 8 points

Giant Bat Wings: Flight 5 (60 MPH), Wings • 5 points

Hellfire Control 10 (Power Feats: Alternate Power 1)
  • Hypnosis: Perception Ranged Affliction 10 (Resisted by Will; Entranced, Compelled, Controlled), Visual Sense-Dependent • 20 points
  • Punishing Gaze: Perception Ranged Affliction 10 (Resisted by Will; Dazed, Stunned, Incapacitated), Visual Sense-Dependent • 1 point

Immortal: Immortality 5, Regeneration 5

Defenses

Dodge +8
Parry +10
Fortitude +11
Toughness +9
Will +8

Abilities 60
Powers 52
Advantages 5
Skills 16
Defenses 17
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Recruitment Closes Christmas Day)

Postby Nineofspades » Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:49 am

Working on a psychic character, either a streight telepath, or telepath/telekinetic, depending on how the points work out.
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Re: X-Men: New Beginnings (3e; Recruitment Closes Christmas Day)

Postby Phicksur » Tue Dec 20, 2011 12:04 pm

Tinkerbell wrote:It's been a while since I've done third edition, so I've chosen to pregenerate a character with the GM kit. I don't think the defenses are right. Maybe someone can give this the third degree while I get some writing done? The concept is a mutant that has demon traits and GREAT FLAMING EYES. It's most likely going to be due to tampering by Mr Sinister. Then again I have this idea of "what would happen if a mutant and a demon made a baby?" OK, stats now.
Str 6
Sta 6
Agi 2
Dex 2
Fgt 10
Int 0
Awe 2
Pre 2
(Total: 60pp)

Advantages

Attractive 2, Daze (Deception), Fascinate (Persuasion), Inspire
(Total: 5pp)

Skills

Deception 8 (+10), Insight 8 (+10), Perception 8 (+10), Persuasion 8 (+10)
(Total: 16pp, bonuses correct)

Powers

Demonic Physiology: Protection 3 • 3 points

Devilish Speed: Enhanced Advantages 6 (Close Attack 4, Improved Initiative 2); Quickness 2 • 8 points

Giant Bat Wings: Flight 5 (60 MPH), Wings • 5 points

Hellfire Control 10 (Power Feats: Alternate Power 1)
  • Hypnosis: Perception Ranged Affliction 10 (Resisted by Will; Entranced, Compelled, Controlled), Visual Sense-Dependent • 20 points
  • Punishing Gaze: Perception Ranged Affliction 10 (Resisted by Will; Dazed, Stunned, Incapacitated), Visual Sense-Dependent • 1 point

Immortal: Immortality 5, Regeneration 5
(Total: 3+8+5+21+15=52pp)

Defenses

Dodge +8 (Agi +6)
Parry +10 (Fig)
Fortitude +11 (Sta+5)
Toughness +9 (Sta+Prot: check)
Will +8 (Awe+6)
(Total: 6+5+6=17pp)

Abilities 60
Powers 52
Advantages 5
Skills 16
Defenses 17

Skill Modifiers < 10+PL: Check
Attacks + Effects < PLx2: Check
Dodge + Toughness < PLx2: Check
Parry + Toughness < PLx2: Check
Fortitide + Will < PLx2: Check



Everything checks out. Your defenses are a little low for PL (Dodge, Parry or Toughness could be raised by 1, Willpower or Fortitude by 1), but not enough to make you 'weak'. You are far more about afflictions than damage, which is fine. Both of your Hellfire powers target Will, though, and the latter could easily target Fortitude instead. A Will Immune target would take out half your bag of tricks.
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